baltech22's Last.fm Journal

The Ten MANLIEST Albums Ever

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 00:40:22 +0000

These are the albums that separate the men from everyone else. The albums that will make you cry like a little bitch if you have insufficient testosterone in your system. The albums that make you want to put on a viking helmet and go on a rape-and-pillage-a-thon on your neighborhood.

10
Procession to the Infraworld
by
The Chasm

What better way to begin this list than with a journey through the deepest recesses of an Aztec warrior's tortured soul? Those Aztecs, man, they were some crazy motherfuckers. What with the human sacrifices and high priests eating the still-beating hearts of vanquished enemies. You know who else is a badass motherfucker? Daniel Corchado. And this is the best thing he's ever been credited with.

Manliest lyrics:

With no mercy, marching for revenge,
we the proudest, rise high the flames of victory,
always guided by the eyes of the serpent
with feathers,
always procreating our liberation and destiny.
My castle made of skulls and bones,
and painted with the the entrails of the defeated"
from "Return of the Banished"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: Highlander

9
Show No Mercy
by
Slayer

SLA-YER! SLA-YER! SLA-YER! SLA-YER!
It's a chant that's grown rather worn over the years, thanks to more than a decade and a half worth of substandard releases and generally softening with age. But back in the day... oh, man, back in the day when it was just 4 dirty longhairs from L.A., fueled by cheap booze, coke and slasher flicks... in those days, a room would reach a critical mass of manliness within moments just from blasting this fireball of an album.

Manliest lyrics:

You See me Lift The Ax, It Plunges
Through Your Shield
You Now Begin To Panic As You See Your
Chances Grow Slim
You're Running Through The Endless Maze
Turn And I'll Be There
A Force To Strong For You To Fight
Your End I'll See Tonight
You Think You Can Destroy Me? You'd Better Think Again
I Am Eternal Terror My Quest Will Never End
I'll Trap You In The Pentagram
And Seal Your Battered Tomb
Your Life Is Just Another Game
For Satan's Knight Of Doom
from "Face the Slayer"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: Evil Dead II

8
An Evil Heat
by
Oxbow

This band debuted in 1989 with an album called Fuckfest. That really says it all right there. Filthy, musky, downright swamplike sludge rock with an ambiance not unlike that of a backwoods cabin deep in the bayou where a dude has been demolishing his favorite piece of ass for 4 days and nights straight with very little rest and no regard for hygiene. It's an act of love, but a very angry, violent and unwholesome sort of love.

Manliest lyrics:

His hand don't rest
shaking and taking
and turning out dust
and he always talking about US
til front door slam and backdoor lock
ind it just you and him
and his lumpy cock
and naked face
in this naked place
from "Sawmill"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: Full Metal Jacket [but only because Samuel L. Jackson didn't get his big break until the 90s]

7
War And Pain
by
Voivod

While Voivod didn't really come into their own artistically until their third album Killing Technology, War And Pain is easily them at their ugliest, wildest and most aggressive. Raw, sloppy, take-no-prisoners thrash with lyrics clearly written in the midst of an alcoholic rage-haze. Snake's snarling vocal delivery is especially caustic here, too.

Manliest lyrics:

Let's fight...
We're falling in the dark
And taking the leather straps
We always need a shot
When we're given the notch
Iron gang come hear
Metal noise is near
The eye of war fixes your god
No regret we plunge in the riot
from "Iron Gang"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: Escape From New York

6
Iron Fist
by
Motörhead

Truth be told, just about any Motörhead album could've filled this spot. But Iron Fist deserves special mention for having the band's most badass cover art and being the last to feature the classic lineup of Lemmy/Clarke/Taylor. The lyrics are also probably the most alcohol-soaked and uncompromisingly confrontational of any Motörhead album, which is why it edges out Overkill [really a superior album] for this list.

Manliest lyrics:

Sons of bitches, crocodile tears in their eyes
We scare 'em shitless just by showin' up alive
Why don't you tell 'em to shove it
They might as well love it
Give you runaround
Don't let'em grind ya down
from "(Don't Let 'em) Grind Ya Down"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: Road House

5
Into Glory Ride
by
Manowar

Before they became a parody of themselves, Manowar spent the early 80s pumping out epic heavy metal at a rate of more than one album per year. This was both the best and most testosterone-soaked of them. Doubt me? Ask yourself this: Does it not take MASSIVE fucking gonads to appear on your own album cover wearing nothing but a loincloth and a pair of fur boots? To say nothing of the glorious lyrics.

Manliest lyrics:

Fallen brother as I hold closed your side
I fear this wound your last.
Mighty earth now doth drink your blood
And I remember days long past.
Your sacrifice so great, rest now take thy sleep
For you shall not awake, let revenge be sweet.
For when we march, your sword rides with me.
You who killed my brother and all who take your side
This be your last hour. Let your steel be tried.
Now turn to face me upon the timeless plane
Kill me if you can.
Death is life!
from "March for Revenge (By the Soldiers of Death)"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: Conan the Destroyer

4
Realm of Chaos
by
Bolt Thrower

What's this? How can an album with a WOMAN playing on it even be allowed on the list, you say? Well, I'd say Jo Bench has a bigger pair than just about any dude I know. And this album is proof positive of that. The music on this album is a steamroller with rocket engines barreling down on you while twin roof-mounted gatling guns cut a path through the scenery. You won't find a heavier metal album out there.

Manliest lyrics:

The enemy is now approaching
With bloodlust in their eyes
Intense fear is overcoming
For now death - you will defy
As the battle raged all dead and wounded
Bodies, carnage all you see
The white hot blast - melting flesh
The screaming pain in agony
from "World Eater"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: First Blood

3
Blood Fire Death
by
Bathory

The first true instance of "Viking metal" also represents the genre's peak of unrestrained male bravado. The music is destructive and abrasive as all fuck; Quorthon's vocals are at their gravel-spitting best and the lyrics are... well, just take a look below. Oddly, the cover art is somewhat less manly than those of the two albums immediately before and after it, but it's nonetheless a classic scene of fantastic warfare.

Manliest lyrics:

Soon the dawn shall arise
For all the opressed to arm
A chariot of thunder shall be seen
And bronze horns shall sound the alarm
Fists will raise like hammers
To a cloudy black sky
Bonds and chains fall to the ground
Children of all slaves
Stand united and proud
All people of bondage shall triumph
And live by the sign of...
BLOOD! FIRE! DEATH!
from "Blood Fire Death"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: Conan the Barbarian

2
Carnivore
by
Carnivore

When an album contains a song titled "Male Supremacy", there's no question it belongs high on this list. The late, great Peter Steele on his own generated enough testosterone to impregnate any woman who came within 20 feet of him without even touching them. But on this album [as well as its follow-up] the band around him puts up an equally manly performance.

Manliest lyrics:

I live to war it's in my blood if I want it I take
the men I've killed the children slaves
and all the woman I've raped
between my legs I've got what it takes to be called a man
fighting, feasting, fucking all I can
moonlight on horseback till death we will ride
northern winds pushing us towards suicide
Mars god of war masturbating in rage
wild libido I've freed from its cage
from "Male Supremacy"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: Mad Max 2 [The Road Warrior]

1
Ample Destruction
by
Jag Panzer

I don't exaggerate one bit when I say that I can feel my balls get heavier when I listen to this record. Truly, the pinnacle of iron-beer-and-sweat metal, Jag Panzer's debut is overstuffed with meaty riffs, epic solos and classic refrains and punctuated Harry "Tyrant" Conklin's spectacular vocal performance. Truly the man has a voice that would make the very walls of Valhalla tremble, and on this album he's at his unrestrained and charismatic best - if women didn't spontaneously disrobe and throw themselves at his feet when they were touring in support of this record I'd be shocked. Hell, even his falsettos sound manly as fuck.
666 FUCKING SCHWARZENEGGERS!

Manliest Lyrics:

Trample the cities leaving dust in our wake
Not a thing left alive, run before it's too late
The women, the children, the young and the old
Nothing will escape the Panzer stronghold
Sound of crushing bones, scent of burning flesh
Posting skulls on a pole terrorizing the rest
We're the restless breed leaving nothin' behind
Can't reason with a man who has death on his mind
Total destruction from the Panzer patrol
Fire and brimstone taking its toll
from "Warfare"

80s Action Film it's most similar to: Predator

Death metal albums you need to hear but probably havent #41-50

Sun, 16 May 2010 13:39:48 +0000

Fifth in a series of two.
See parts ONE, TWO, THREE and FOUR

41. R.U. Dead? [GER]- Promotape [1992]

Okay, I know the band name is ridiculous, but just trust me on this one. This was a full-length demo and never saw a proper release, but it's one of the most astounding slabs of death metal I've ever heard. The band was formed by Uli Hildenbrand after the dissolution of Poison and continued largely along the same track, with a more refined sound that seamlessly merged Teutonic thrash with Autopsy-style doomy death, while also blazing a trail with sprawling compositions [two of the songs on this record approach 9 minutes] and classy guitar interplay. In a lot of ways, this band laid the blueprint for bands like The Chasm and Dissection. A true classic lost to time.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/zz5laa

42. Internal Decay [SWE]- A Forgotten Dream [1993]

To me this is like a rich man's Phlebotomized. Harmonic Swedish death metal with atmospheric synths featured throughout. Comparisons can be drawn to early Katatonia and Gorement. The second song "Repossessed Throne" is a true stand-out.

43. abominog [USA]- Chaos Unleashed [1995]

It should come as no surprise that this album sounds more than a little like early Deceased. King Fowley was the band's drummer for a time, and intended to put out one of their earlier releases on his label. This is pretty simple, thrashy death without much subtlety involved. But if what you seek is more material in the vein of Luck of the Corpse you can't really do much better than this.

44. Fallen Christ [USA] - Abduction Ritual [1996]

Somewhere between the raw, primal barbarity of Blasphemy and the sophisticated dark death metal of Immolation lies this strange album, featuring the drumming of Alex Hernandez who would later join the aforementioned Immolation for three albums. The short songs [most are under 2 minutes] suggest a prevalent grind influence, but I frankly don't hear it. If anything, this record takes the bizarre, angular riffage of Here in After and serves it up in little bite-sized chunks.

45. Natron [ITA]- Bedtime for Mercy [1999]

Another entrant from the disgustingly underrated Italian scene, Natron have somehow managed to go almost completely unnoticed on the international stage, despite sporting a pretty unique sound that blends the barbaric, blasting deathgrind of Assück [perhaps a hint of early Kataklysm with Voivod's discordance. The latter's influence is especially prominent on this album, which features a terrific cover of "Nothingface".

46. Astomatous [USA]- The Beauty of Reason [2006]

This band features Lev and Nicolas of Krallice but the music here is actually quite good, combining elements of later Gorguts, Anata and even a bit of Godflesh. The songwriting is a bit too noodly at times, but the foundation is solid, and if they ever release a follow-up, it'll be sure to be great.

47. Orgone [USA]- The Goliath [2007]

To the untrained ear, this will probably sound like another vapid wank-fest, not unlike Brain Drill, but this is actually a very engaging listen. The guitar pyrotechnics and mathcore rhythms are complemented with significant infusions of sludge and post-rock atmospherics. And the melodies aren't just rigid, mechanical scale runs, but actually feature compelling motifs. The closest direct comparisons would be The End of Nothing, Son of Sulphur and Everything Is Fire.

48. Putrevore [SWE/ESP]- Morphed from Deadbreath [2008]

This lumbering sludge monster of an album is a collaborative effort between the ubiquitous Rogga Johansson [Deranged, Ribspreader, Demiurg and more other bands than I care to remember] and Dave Rotten [Avulsed, Christ Denied, Repulse, Xtreem]. The obvious point of reference here is Rottrevore, whom I actually think these guys surpass, but there's also quite a bit of Carcass, Impetigo and Convulse in their sound.

49. Vengeful [CAN]- The Omnipresent Curse [2009]

One of my favorites among a glut of great death metal releases from 2009, Quebec's Vengeful offers up a refreshingly aggressive brand of technical death metal that actually has balls to rival those of the genre's heyday. They don't fuck around with upper octave noodling, preferring to keep things low and harsh. The first seven songs here are solid, comparable to Spasme and more recent Sinister but the finale "Transcending" is the real treat, clocking in at a tick over 21 minutes and managing to stay compelling throughout. Perhaps the most ambitious death metal song in history, including guest vocals from the legend Luc Lemay.

50. Adversarial [CAN]- All Idols Fall Before the Hammer [2010]

Okay, this one isn't actually out yet, and I haven't heard it. But based on their demo Thralls, I can pretty much guarantee that it'll be amazing and a contender for best album of 2010. You can download Thralls from here

------------------------------------------------

Immolation Incantation Vader Suffocation Dismember Entombed Carcass Spasme Cryptopsy Gorguts Necrophobic Necrophagist Carbonized Cadaver Excommunion Stargazer Portal Abramelin Adramelech The Firstborn Impaled Exhumed Monstrosity Vile Deeds of Flesh Severed Savior Decrepit Birth Ved Buens Ende Deteriorot Goreaphobia Testament Therion Grave Cannibal Corpse Vital Remains Sabbat Luciferion Deicide Sadus Obituary Repulsion Possessed Carnage Drawn and Quartered Sentenced Martyr Hypocrisy Grotesque God Dethroned Vomitory Demolition Hammer Revocation Angelcorpse Order From Chaos Axis of Advance Zyklon Malevolent Creation Resurrection Edge of Sanity Usurper Celtic Frost Enslaved Voivod Anata Iniquity Dim Mak Megadeth Cancer Rune Runemagick Deceased Meshuggah Gorod Psycroptic Centinex Cenotaph Ancient Gods Dying Fetus Odious Mortem Burning Inside !T.O.O.H.!Lykathea Aflame Afflicted Darkthrone Sotajumala Cauldron Black Ram Ruins Catacombs Disembowelment Evoken Dark Angel Slayer Nile Melechesh Opeth Creepmime Swordmaster Abigor Natron Neuraxis Devourment Origin Arghoslent Aborted Skinless Kataklysm Infernal Majesty Orphaned Land Paradise Lost Septic Flesh Satyricon Dead Congregation Defeated Sanity Morgion Atrocity Samael Beherit Behemoth The Crown Misery Mithras Akercocke Intestine Baalism Infester Mercyless Loudblast Disciples of Mockery Mortem Funebrarum Funebre Disillusion Convulse Rudra Appalling Spawn Anathema Kaamos Asphyx Hail of Bullets Deathspell Omega Revenant Internal Suffering
Ulcerate Gorefest Miasma Pungent Stench Bloodstone abominog Krabathor Cemetary Morbid Saint Cephalectomy pan thy monium Brutality Cianide Morgue Seance Disincarnate Liers In Wait Unanimated Morpheus Descends Hour of Penance Phlebotomized Victims of Internal Decay Funerus Sickening Horror Spectral Mortuary Father Befouled Oppressor Gorement Mitochondrion Denial Chemical Breath Morbius

Suicide Silence Carnifex The Partisan Turbine The Red Chord Cattle Decapitation Bring Me the Horizon Knights Of The Abyss Annotations Of An Autopsy Whitechapel Waking The Cadaver The Faceless Despised Icon The Black Dahlia Murder All Shall Perish Job For A Cowboy Animosity Misericordiam Emmure Elysia Underneath The Gun See You Next Tuesday As Blood Runs Black War From A Harlot's Mouth Arsonists Get All The Girls With Blood Comes Cleansing Belay My Last Postmortem Promises Burning Skies Rose Funeral Salt The Wound A Black Rose Burial Winds of Plague killwhitneydead

[the deathcore faggots might actually learn something...]

The Ten Metal Commandments

Tue, 2 Mar 2010 17:34:19 +0000

I. I am the Guitar, thy God. Thou shalt have no other instruments before me.
>>Metal is guitar music. If you can't handle it unless the guitars are submerged in layers of electronics or 'symphonic' synths, you're better off listening to something else. Likewise, if you mix your album in a way that leaves the guitars buried by drums, vocals or [in that rarest of occurrences] bass, you're making a big mistake.

II. Thou shalt not make out of thyself an idol.
>>Rock stars are, by definition, douchebags. Don't seek to be one. If you want to become larger-than-life, you have to work long and hard at it. That's how Lemmy did it, and that's why he's God. The only short-cut is to either create for yourself an alternate persona that nobody else has thought of yet [i.e. King Diamond], or start committing arson, murder, or any combination thereof.

III. Thou shalt not use metal's name in vain.
>>In the 80s it was 'hair metal'. In the 90s it was 'nü-metal'. In the '00s it was 'metalcore'. All of these were pathetically transparent corporate attempts to sell a watered-down, fashion-conscious version of metal to an unsuspecting public. Inevitably, the cycle will repeat in 2010, and it will be no less contrived, insincere and an affront to everything metal stands for than it has been for the past 30 years.

IV. Thou shalt remember the Sabbath, the Maiden, the Slayer and the Carcass, but thou shalt not act like good music begins and ends with them.
>>Only an idiot would listen to a 3rd rate knock-off of a decades-old band. There are a lot of really stupid metal fans, sadly, so bands that do nothing more than ape classic sounds and offer nothing in the way of new ideas still manage to find an audience. This needs to stop. It makes the Metal Gods angry.

V. Honor thy genre.
>>Nobody ever said there wasn't wiggle room, but if you're going to present yourself as a band that abides by a certain musical style, you should at least bear some hallmarks of that style. If you're going to play death metal, you better be heavy; if you're going to play black metal, you better be dark and sinister sounding; if you're going to play power metal, don't confuse the kids with harsh vocals. And if you want to do something avant-garde or 'progressive', then you damn well better not sound like another Dream Theater clone!

VI. Thou shalt not kill thy albums with over or under-production.
>>The most important thing about any album is the ability to hear it. If you go through all the effort of writing and arranging a bunch of kick-ass songs, wouldn't you want people to be able to actually hear it? If your album either sounds like an impenetrable wall of fuzz, or a solid blob of layered instruments where the guitars are drowned out by synths and vocals, you're doing yourself a disservice just as much as the listeners.

VII. Thou shalt not commit adult contemporary.
>>Variety is usually a good thing. But the moment you decide to spice up your ass-ripping speed metal album with a song that sounds like Bon fuckin' Jovi, singing wistfully about a friend of yours who died, or worse, a comic book character, you lose any claim to being taken seriously as a metal band.

VIII. Thou shalt not steal riffs.
>>Nobody likes a plagiarist. Write your own damn riffs. And if you happen to include an homage in one of your songs, do the honorable thing and call it that. Don't pass off someone else's ideas as your own.

IX. Thou shalt not bear falsetto against thy neighbor's ears.
>>Don't have your vocalist try to hit notes that are obviously outside of his range. It sounds ridiculous.

X. Thou shalt not cover thy neighbor's songs [unless thou makest it worthwhile].
>>Nobody wants to hear another paint-by-numbers cover of a Slayer song [or any other song, for that matter]. If you're going to do a cover, do something with it that makes it worth listening to. Also, if you don't think you can improve on the original, the cover won't be worth the time it'll take you to learn the song.

CDs for sale/trade... offers welcome

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 17:17:59 +0000

Shipping within the U.S. = $1.70
Outside U.S. = $3.50

Absu - Third Storm of Cythraul ltd. Digipak [Black/Thrash Metal, USA, 1997] - $15 or best offer
Abysmal - The Pillorian Age CD [Black/Doom Metal, NOR, 1994] - $5
Aghora - Aghora Digi CD [Progressive Metal, USA, 1999] - $5
Agony - Apocalyptic Dawning CD [Death Metal, CAN, 1994] - $5
Armageddon - Crossing the Rubicon CD [Prog/MeloDeath, SWE, 1997] - $18 or best offer
Azaghal - Of Beasts & Vultures CD [Black Metal, FIN, 2003] - $5
Creepmime - Shadows CD [Death/Doom Metal, NED, 1994] - $5
Darkthrone - Plaguewielder CD [Black Metal, NOR, 2001] - $5
Dark Angel - Time Does Not Heal CD [Thrash Metal, USA, 1991] - $5
Evilution - Shrine of Desecration CD [Death Metal, USA, 1997] - $5
Fleshless - Sensual Death Immitation CD [Death Metal, CZE, 2003] - $8
hemlock - Funeral Mask CD [Black Metal, USA, 1997] - $15 or best offer
Impetigo - Ultimo Mondo Canibale CD [Goregrind, USA, 1990] - $5
Kalibas - Product of Hard Living CD [Deathgrind, USA, 2002] - $5
Kalibas - Enthusiastic Corruption of the Common Good MCD [Deathgrind, USA, 2002] - $2
Khanate - Khanate CD [Drone/Doom, USA, 2001] - $5
Krisiun - Ageless Venomous CD [Death Metal, BRA, 2001] - $5
Loudblast - Sublime Dementia CD [Death Metal, FRA, 1993] - $20 or best offer
Luciferion - The Apostate CD [Death Metal, SWE, 2003] - $5
Manowar - Hail To England CD [Heavy Metal, USA, 1984] - $5
Mercyless - Coloured Funeral CD [Death Metal, FRA, 1993] - $5
Necromantia - Ancient Pride MCD [Black Metal, GRC, 1997] - $3
Necrophagist - Onset of Putrefaction CD [Video Game Music, GER, 1999] - $5
Origin - Echoes of Decimation CD [Death Metal, USA, 2005] - $4
Pathology Stench - Accion Mutante CD [Death Metal, SLK, 2000] - $5
Sacramentum - The Coming of Chaos CD [Black Metal, SWE, 1997] - $12 or best offer
Stargazer - Occidentale Magick CD [Death/Black Metal, AUS, 2006] - $12 or best offer
Tiamat - Wildhoney CD [Gothic Metal, SWE, 1994] - $5
Varathron - Walpurgisnacht ORIG. CD [Black Metal, GRC, 1995] - $22 or best offer
V.O.I.D. - Victims of Internal Decay CD [Death/Doom Metal, USA, 1993] - $5
Watchmaker - Kill.Crush.Destroy CD [Grind, USA, 2000] - $3

--------------------------------------

Want list:

Absu - Absu CD
Altar/Cartilage split CD
Anacrusis - Suffering Hour CD
Antropomorphia - Necromantic Love Songs MCD
Apocryphal Voice - Stilltrapped CD
Axis of Advance - The List CD
Beheaded - Perpetual Mockery CD
Brutality - Screams of Anguish CD
Carbonized - For the Security CD [orig. or reissue is fine]
Cemetary - An Evil Shade of Grey CD
Cephalectomy - Eclipsing the Dawn CD
Cobalt - Eater of Birds CD
Cop Shoot Cop - Consumer Revolt CD
Crypticus - They Called Me Mad! CD
Crypt of Kerberos - World of Myths CD
Dim Mak - Enter the Dragon CD
Evoken - A Caress of the Void CD
Execration - Syndicate of Lethargy CD
Funebrarum - The Sleep of Morbid Dreams CD
Ghost - The Lost of Mercy CD
Heir Apparent - Graceful Inheritance CD
Helstar - Nosferatu CD
Holy Terror - Terror & Submission/Mind Wars 2CD
Indukti - S.U.S.A.R. CD
Iniquity - The Hidden Lore MCD
Intestine Baalism - Ultimate Instinct CD
Intronaut - Prehistoricisms CD
Lost Soul - Chaostream CD
Martyr - Open the Abscess CD
Massacra - Final Holocaust CD
Miasma - Changes & Love Songs CD
Misery - A Necessary Evil CD
Mitochondrion - Through Cosmic Gaze MCD
Morbid Saint - Spectrum of Death reissue CD
Morbius - Alienchrist CD
Mordicus - Dances From Left reissue CD
Morphosis - Rise of the Bastard Deities CD
Mournful Congregation - The Monad of Creation CD
Natron - Negative Prevails CD
NoMeansNo - Wrong CD
Pagan Altar - Mythical & Magical CD
Pungent Stench - Been Caught Buttering CD
Rites of Thy Degringolade - Totality CD
Runemagick - Requiem of the Apocalypse CD
Satan - Court in the Act remaster CD
Seance - Saltrubbed Eyes CD
Sempiternal Deathreign - The Spooky Gloom CD
Serpens Aeon - Dawn of Kouatl CD
Slugathor - Echoes From Beneath CD
Thergothon - Stream From the Heavens reissue CD
Thinking Plague - In This Life CD
Torchure - The Essence CD
Univers Zero - Heresie CD
Vomiturition - A Leftover CD

All prices and trade offers are fully negotiable, and I'm 100% willing to do several-for-one swaps if I feel the offer is justified.

An extra $2 with any purchase will get you a copy of my band's MCD

paypal: rmtemin@hotmail.com

Sigh-ku

Wed, 27 May 2009 20:08:13 +0000

Scorn Defeat:
None more black than this
The Eastern Force of Evil!
Cronos would be proud

Infidel Art:
Mirai meets Mozart
And hell follows in his wake
Epic cheesy fun

Hail Horror Hail:
Blackened avant-prog?
Kawashima-san says 'hai'!
Mike Patton, take notes.

Scenario IV:
Their most laid-back work
Just a bit underwhelming
Knew they would bounce back

Imaginary Sonicscape:
Only in Japan
Could disco be this evil
Acid trip through hell!

Gallows Gallery:
This would be so good
If they'd stuck with harsh vocals
Mixing also sucks

Hangman's Hymn:
They've brought back the thrash
Like Infidel Art on meth
Oh, those wacky Japs!

Sigh

Yet another 10 death metal albums you need to hear but probably haven't

Wed, 20 May 2009 03:53:36 +0000

Fourth in a series of two.
See parts ONE, TWO and THREE

This time, they're in chronological order

Sempiternal Deathreign[NED] - The Spooky Gloom [1989]

Here's a band every Obituary fan should listen to and realize how foolish they've been to have worshipped that overrated tripe. Sempiternal Deathreign was probably the ORIGINAL death/doom band. This album came out a full two years before Autopsy's Mental Funeral, and one year before Winter's Into Darkness. Basically, it's really raw, ugly doom/death, influenced primarily by the likes of Hellhammer and Black Sabbath, as well as classic Teutonic thrash (Sodom, Kreator). And unlike the aforementioned Obituary, their solos AREN'T the only interesting thing about their music. There are some actually great riffs to be found in here. Songs range anywhere from 1:55 to 10:53, so there's plenty of variety here, as well.

Traumatic Voyage [GER] - Traumatic Voyage [1992]

This is just plain weird shit. I'm not even sure whether this can be classified as death metal, per-sé. There are a lot of progressive and psychedelic elements, the songs are abnormally long [averaging around 8 minutes], and there are occasional clean vocals as well. The closest thing to this that I can recall having heard prior was Timeghoul's demos, but those aren't exactly well-known, nor is a direct comparison fully accurate. You know what? Just check it out for yourself. There's a good chance you'll hate it, but it was definitely one of the more unique early extreme metal bands [use of past tense is misleading, since they're still around... and their more recent albums have gotten even weirder].

Chemical Breath [BEL] - Fatal Exposure [1992]

This one's a bit more mundane, but also has a lot more immediate appeal. Thrashy Belgian death metal, influenced by the likes of Sadus and early Pestilence, with a surprising amount of depth and technical prowess. These guys almost certainly would've been bigger if they'd come from Sweden or the U.S.
See also: Values [1994]

Ghost [POL] - The Lost of Mercy [1994]

One of the earliest Polish death metal bands, and one of the few that doesn't owe its sound directly to Vader in one way or another. I actually came upon this record while looking through the chronological data on the 'brutal death metal' genre on RYM. This was one of the first dozen or so releases under that tag, and the only one I hadn't heard. Turns out, this doesn't really fit the description [as it's commonly used], since it doesn't sound like NYDM at all. Instead, what we have is a solid slab of European death metal that can most directly be compared to Iniquity's classic Serenadium, with thick, abrasive, and often sludgy riffs, and vocals reminiscent of Grave's Jörgen Sandstrom. More surprisingly, this album actually has stellar production - especially for something so obscure. And if you don't get a chuckle out of the very first riff on the record, you suck at metal.

Agony [CAN] - Apocalyptic Dawning [1994]

Canadian death metal tends to be awesome. This is no exception. It's brutal as shit. Clearly inspired by NYDM in a big way, but also surprisingly melodic. In that sense, it also resembles the aforementioned Serenadium. It's not the most original thing ever, but it's pretty damn solid.

Morbius [USA] - Alienchrist [1995]

If that title sounds familiar to Arghoslent fans, it should. Drummer Matt Sylvester assumed the title as a pseudonym when he played in said band for several years. There are natural similarities between Morbius and Arghoslent, as well as fellow Virginians Deceased. But the closest parallels can be drawn to early Absu and The Chasm, with whom they share the distinction of being simultaneously raw and epic, with obscure melodies aplenty.
See also: The Shades Below [1992], Sojourns Through The Septiac [2005]

Scenery [CZE] - The Drowning Shadow Of Mankind [1997]

One word: Atheist. This is practically IDENTICAL to what Atheist might have put out between Unquestionable Presence and Elements. A lot of jazziness and unpredictable twists and turns. A few of the songs run a little bit long, and lack the punch that Atheist does, but for anyone wanting to get more from that same sound, you really couldn't do any better.
See also: Philosophy Of Ages [2002], Continuity [2006]

Cauldron Black Ram [AUS] - Skullduggery [2004]

This album sees members of Australian visionaries Portal and Stargazer returning to their roots, playing stripped-down, ugly, primitive death/thrash in the vein of Celtic Frost and Unleashed. Of course, it wouldn't be the same if they didn't let some of the progressive elements from their more well-known bands seep in, so expect some of that, too. Plus... their songs are about pirates, so there's awesomeness all around.

Mitochondrion [CAN] - Archaeaeon [2008]

This is one of the more intriguing up-and-coming bands in extreme metal. They take the 'war metal' sound native to western Canada, pioneered by Blasphemy and infuse it with a heavy dose of progressive elements. Think of it as Axis of Advance meets Ved Buens Ende, with elements of Lykathea Aflame also included. The down-side is that the production is typical of the war metal sound, with drums and vocals being over-emphasized and guitars frequently buried.

Denial [MEX] - Catacombs of the Grotesque [2009]

you remember that level in the original Quake, where the big red dude rises out of that pit of lava, and starts throwing hot rocks at you? That's what this album reminds me of. Insanely brutal Finnish-style death metal, played by Mexicans - including former members of Cenotaph and Shub Niggurath. These guys have a convincingly hellish, morbid sound with a sludgy [but well-defined] guitar tone, and manage to pull it off with virtually no palm muting. If you enjoy Convulse and Demilich, you definitely need to check out this record.

Immolation Incantation Vader Suffocation Dismember Entombed Carcass Spasme Cryptopsy Gorguts Necrophobic Necrophagist Carbonized Cadaver Excommunion Stargazer Portal Abramelin Adramelech The Firstborn Impaled Exhumed Monstrosity Vile Deeds of Flesh Severed Savior Decrepit Birth Ved Buens Ende Deteriorot Goreaphobia Testament Therion Grave Cannibal Corpse Vital Remains Sabbat Luciferion Deicide Sadus Obituary Repulsion Possessed Carnage Drawn and Quartered Sentenced Martyr Hypocrisy Grotesque God Dethroned Vomitory Demolition Hammer Revocation Angelcorpse Order From Chaos Axis of Advance Zyklon Malevolent Creation Resurrection Edge of Sanity Usurper Celtic Frost Enslaved Voivod Anata Iniquity Dim Mak Megadeth Cancer Rune Runemagick Deceased Meshuggah Gorod Psycroptic Centinex Cenotaph Ancient Gods Dying Fetus Odious Mortem Burning Inside !T.O.O.H.!Lykathea Aflame Afflicted Darkthrone Sotajumala Cauldron Black Ram Ruins Catacombs Disembowelment Evoken Dark Angel Slayer Nile Melechesh Opeth Creepmime Swordmaster Abigor Natron Neuraxis Devourment Origin Arghoslent Aborted Skinless Kataklysm Infernal Majesty Orphaned Land Paradise Lost Septic Flesh Satyricon Dead Congregation Defeated Sanity Morgion Atrocity Samael Beherit Behemoth The Crown Misery Mithras Akercocke Intestine Baalism Infester Mercyless Loudblast Disciples of Mockery Mortem Funebrarum Funebre Disillusion Convulse Rudra Appalling Spawn Anathema Kaamos Asphyx Hail of Bullets Deathspell Omega Revenant Internal Suffering
Ulcerate Gorefest Miasma Pungent Stench Bloodstone abominog Krabathor Cemetary Morbid Saint Cephalectomy pan thy monium Brutality Cianide Morgue Seance Disincarnate Liers In Wait Unanimated Morpheus Descends Hour of Penance Phlebotomized Victims of Internal Decay Funerus Sickening Horror Spectral Mortuary Father Befouled Oppressor Gorement

Suicide Silence Carnifex The Partisan Turbine The Red Chord Cattle Decapitation Bring Me the Horizon Knights Of The Abyss Annotations Of An Autopsy Whitechapel Waking The Cadaver The Faceless Despised Icon The Black Dahlia Murder All Shall Perish Job For A Cowboy Animosity Misericordiam Emmure Elysia Underneath The Gun See You Next Tuesday As Blood Runs Black War From A Harlot's Mouth Arsonists Get All The Girls With Blood Comes Cleansing Belay My Last Postmortem Promises Burning Skies Rose Funeral Salt The Wound A Black Rose Burial Winds of Plague killwhitneydead

[the deathcore faggots might actually learn something...]

All the [noteworthy] bands that I've seen live

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 22:21:44 +0000

* denotes I've seen them more than once

1349
Aborted
Agalloch
Amorphis
Angelcorpse
Arch Enemy*
Behemoth
Belphegor
Biolich
Blind Guardian
Cannibal Corpse*
Carcass
Cathedral
Copremesis
Cryptopsy
Dark Funeral
Deceased
Deeds of Flesh
Defeated Sanity
Demilich
Dimmu Borgir
Dismember*
Dying Fetus*
Ehnahre
Exhumed
Exodus
Fuck The Facts
Ghoul
Gorguts
Grave*
Hammers of Misfortune
Hate Eternal*
Immolation
Immortal*
In Flames
Incantation
Intronaut
Kataklysm*
Khanate
Kreator
Krisiun*
Leng Tch'e*
Ludicra
Malignancy
Marduk
Mastodon*
Melt-Banana*
Meshuggah
Misery Index*
Monstrosity*
Morbid Angel*
Motörhead
Mouth of the Architect
Necrophagist
Neuraxis
Nevermore*
Nile*
November's Doom*
Opeth*
Origin*
Pig Destroyer*
Porcupine Tree*
Revocation
Samael
Satyricon*
Secret Chiefs 3
Sigh
Slayer
Sleepytime Gorilla Museum*
Slough Feg
Strapping Young Lad*
Suffocation*
Television
The Dying Light
The Haunted
Vader*
Vital Remains*
Watchmaker*
Warbringer
Zyklon

Ten Best Albums of 2008 - agree or you suck!

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 01:03:49 +0000

This's just like... my opinion, man.

10. Mouth of the Architect [USA] - Quietly

There are plenty of bands playing this sort of atmospheric post-rock/sludge hybrid nowadays, but few do it nearly as well as MOTA. This record is a pretty major step up from 2005's The Ties That Blind, both in terms of musical maturity and songwriting. "A Generation of Ghosts" is a hands-down pick for song of the year.

09. Cosmic Atrophy [USA] - Codex Incubo

Copypaste from my last journal...

THE death metal album of 2008. Cosmic Atrophy are a duo out of Houston that does what nobody truly ventured to do - pick up where Demilich left off with their legendary Nespithe album. Codex Incubo is a bit on the short side [just under 34 minutes if you count the outro track] but it does an amazing job of expanding on the ideas Demilich put forth 15 years earlier. Don't worry, though, it's not a clone by any means. These guys are already hard at work on their next album, so there will more than likely be plenty more where that came from.

08. Hammers of Misfortune [USA] - Fields/Church Of Broken Glass

To be perfectly honest, I thought these guys were finished after Mike Scalzi left to focus on Slough-Feg, but John Cobbett managed to put a new lineup together and soon have not one but two albums ready. This is a definite step up from The Locust Years, which, while fun and memorable, lacked the complex riffage and instrumental interplay of the first two albums. The melodies here are much stronger and a number of the songs recall that epic scope of The Bastard and The August Engine. The only thing holding the double-disc back is the fact that the new male vocalist, though competent, simply doesn't lend the personality to the band's sound that Scalzi did. He doesn't own the scenery, so to speak, but rather fades into the background.

07. Ruins [AUS] - Cauldron

Not many bands playing black metal nowadays are of interest to me, but this album is definitely pretty special. Tasmanian BM including but not featuring the Haley brothers of Psycroptic. The music, however, is more like a mixture of The Chasm and Deathspell Omega, so clearly it's nothing at all like Psycroptic, which is a good thing nowadays.

06. Grayceon [USA] - This Grand Show

This one kinda snuck up on me. I loved the first Grayceon album to death, but I hadn't fully digested it yet, and wasn't yet ready for another helping. But here it is. Another epic piece of gorgeous guitar/cello interplay, with improved vocals and an even more mature take on songcraft. These guys are like Opeth, King Crimson, Ved Buens Ende, maudlin of the Well and Apocalyptica all rolled into one.

05. Cynic [USA] - Traced in Air

Every time I listen to this album, I question my sexuality. Only Queen's early work is capable of that same feat. This is arguably the best post-reunion record ever. Every bit as unique and masterfully composed/arranged as Focus, but with a much stronger production and vocals that don't sound like Max Headroom. Granted, there's room for improvement in the vocal department [a pipe dream of mine is for Steven Wilson of Porcupine Tree/Blackfield to have performed them], but they fit the music like a glove. It sounds homoerotic as hell, but it's still another masterpiece of fusion/prog/metal/whatever from these guys.

04. Secret Chiefs 3/John Zorn [USA] - Xaphan: Book of Angels Vol. 9

I was on pins & needles waiting for this album, after 4 long years since Book of Horizons. I was definitely not disappointed. The music here is basically Masada compositions, written by John Zorn, with arrangements done by Trey Spruance and SC3. It's every bit as intriguing and diverse as previous SC3 albums. Though one has to wonder when there will be an actual SC3 album, composed by Spruance & co.

03. Pharaoh [USA] - Be Gone

Being a traditional metal band from the U.S. is about as thankless a job as you'll find. you work your ass off both perfecting your instrumental skills and writing riff after awesome riff, and what do you get for it? Maybe move about 1500 units domestically? A couple dozen people show up to your gigs? Unless you're Iced Earth, in which case you've been on cruise control for almost a decade, knowing that you can put out any old piece of shit with your logo on it and hundreds of thousands will gobble it up like the unwitting guttersluts they are.
Regardless, Be Gone is the third and arguably best effort yet from Pharaoh - AKA: Tim Aymar's band after Control Denied. There's oodles of brilliant riffs here, with less blatant Iron Maiden influence than in the past. The songs are also more succinct than on 2006's The Longest Night. My only complaint is that there's not enough low end to the mix. Arghoslent fans should appreciate this... unless they're part of Arghoslent's 'target audience'.

02. Opeth [SWE] - Watershed

Right up until late October, I thought for sure that this was a lock for #1, but something unseated it. This is the best and freshest-sounding Opeth album since 1999's Still Life. Not only are they finally introducing some new ideas to what was one of the most firmly entrenched sounds in all of music, but they're also cutting down on the excessive repetition that plagued the last few records.

01. Virus [NOR] - The Black Flux

Remember how hard your dick got when Ved Buens Ende announced a reunion? Remember how quickly you turned flaccid when it ended up falling apart? Well, fortunately some of the songs written by Czral & Co. for that were used instead on Virus' 2nd album, along with several more songs written shortly afterward. The whole record is absolutely stellar. The riffs are even quirkier than on Carheart without sacrificing any of the infectiousness. The vocals are a point of contention, but I can't imagine anything better or more fitting for this music. Not even Snake from Voivod [another obviously major influence]. This is a seriously addictive album that's going to have a lot of staying power.

======================

Honorable mentions:
Revocation - Empire Of The Obscene

Intronaut - Prehistoricisms

Enslaved - Vertebrae

Gigan - The Order Of The False Eye

Esoteric - The Maniacal Vale

Dismember - Dismember

Keep of Kalessin - Kolossus

Severed Savior - Servile Insurrection

Bloodbath - The Fathomless Mastery

Dead Congregation - Graves Of The Archangels

Testament - The Formation Of Damnation

Oh, and I reserve the right to revise this list at any time, without prior notice. :)

==========================

Immolation Opeth Runemagick Pharaoh
Voivod Blind Guardian Iniquity Deceased
Secret Chiefs 3 Edge of Sanity Bolt Thrower Deathevocation Gorguts Sleepytime Gorilla Museum Solefald Fates Warning King Crimson Anata Dark Tranquillity The Book of Knots Porcupine Tree Iron Maiden Morbid Angel The Angels of Light Zealotry Oxbow Adramelech Dismember Primordial Sodom Keep of Kalessin Sigh Alchemist Nile Manilla Road Atheist Sotajumala Death Swans Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds The Lord Weird Slough Feg Negură Bunget Hammers of Misfortune Atrocity Suffocation Demilich Kreator Slayer Testament Stargazer The Chasm Soundgarden Incantation The Firstborn Red Sparowes Leviathan Necrophobic Enslaved Catacombs Grails Origin Katatonia Bauhaus Portal Monstrosity Abramelin Blut aus Nord
Samael !T.O.O.H.!Dissection Nevermore Bruce Dickinson Meshuggah Thinking Plague Autopsy Candlemass The Jesus Lizard October Tide Queen Defeated Sanity Intestine Baalism Ophiolatry Solitude Aeturnus Orphaned Land Disillusion Entombed Caspian Gustav Holst Convulse DeathevokatioN The Grifters Coldworker Deathspell Omega Dawnbringer Void of Silence Dark Angel Igor Stravinsky Gregor Samsa Tool Pig Destroyer Necrophagist Television Crypticus Agalloch The Crown Cerberus Shoal Ancient Rites Rotting Christ The Birthday Party Ludwig van Beethoven Liars ROOT Faith No More Purtenance Demons & Wizards
Cadaver Corpus Mortale Fleshless Watchmaker Judas Priest Kaamos Satyricon Carnage Duobetic Homunkulus 光田康典 Melt-Banana Nifelheim Cryptopsy Evoken Arghoslent Disgrace Cannibal Corpse
Martyr Immortal Sentenced Emperor Behemoth Big Black Summoning Ved Buens Ende
Horslips Indukti
Arcturus Disembowelment Metallica Esoteric The Fucking Champs Art Bears
Motörhead Exodus Radiohead Hail of Bullets Hypocrisy Blackfield Mr. Bungle Neurosis Skyclad Afflicted Rottrevore Carpathian Forest Nokturnal Mortum Dead Congregation Brodequin Hour of Penance Negurã Bunget Sargeist Dies Irae De Lirium's Order
Ravenous Gospel Of The Horns
Vintersorg Forgotten Tomb Mortuary Drape King Diamond Septic Flesh Yattering Skyforger Krisiun Shellac
Amorphis Love History Carcass Mortem Thou Art Lord Led Zeppelin Ludicra Abigor Abaddon Incarnate Funebrarum Appalling Spawn Loudblast Usurper Axis of Advance Pere Ubu Anathema Virus Morgion Belphegor Resurrection
Internal Suffering Slint Revenant Possessed

10 More Death Metal Albums You Need To Hear, But Probably Haven't

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 00:57:00 +0000

Back by popular demand!
As usual, these are in no particular order of preference.

21. Cosmic Atrophy - Codex Incubo [2008]

THE death metal album of 2008. Cosmic Atrophy are a duo out of Houston that does what nobody truly ventured to do - pick up where Demilich left off with their legendary Nespithe album. Codex Incubo is a bit on the short side [just under 34 minutes if you count the outro track] but it does an amazing job of expanding on the ideas Demilich put forth 15 years earlier. Don't worry, though, it's not a clone by any means. These guys are already hard at work on their next album, so there will more than likely be plenty more where that came from.

22. Torchure - The Essence [1993]

Like early Morgoth and Bolt Thrower? You'll probably love this. Possibly the only one of the early German death metal bands not to turn assfuckingly gay in the mid-90s. Great atmospheric old-school death with both thrashy and doomy tracks, and a production resembling that of Autopsy's classic Mental Funeral

23. Cartilage - The Fragile Concept of Affection [1992]

This is an EP that was only released as part of the extremely rare split with Altar [HOL] but it's right up there with the very best of Finnish death metal. The overall sound is similar to early Amorphis and Demigod, but the songwriting is arguably superior to anything either of those bands had to offer [and that's saying a lot].

24. Vomiturition - A Leftover [1995]

Formed by two members of the aforementioned Cartilage, this band also served as a precursor to Rotten Sound [one of the best grind bands around], featuring drummer Kai Hahto [also in Cartilage], vocalist Keijo Bagge and guitarist Mika Aalto [also in ...And Oceans ]. The sound is a mixture of classic Finnish/Scandinavian death metal, but with a more pronounced Discharge influence, setting the table for what Rotten Sound would become.

25. Serpens Aeon - Dawn of Kouatl [2003]

I included The Chasm's Procession to the Infraworld album on the first of these lists. This album pretty much picks up where that one left off, albeit with an even more pronounced thrashy edge, while The Chasm's later records are more epic. Killer Kreator-esque riffs abound on this one. Hopefully a follow-up will come out shortly. They're well overdue for one.

26. Mordicus - Dances From Left [1993]

The fourth and final Finnish album [lol alliteration] on this list was just recently reissued by Temple of the Damned records. This one's more overtly melodic and accessible than the other albums on this list. Sounds kinda like a thrashier Eucharist. Very catchy record with tons of great hooks.

27. Disembarkation - Rancorous Observision [2000]

Being French-Canadian, it's obvious that these guys are technical as fuck. The band featured Etienne Gallo, who later went on to Augury and Negativa. Augury is by far the better point of reference for Disembarkation's sound, but they were very much an entity in their own right. Heavy doses of Atheist and Cynic influence and tremendous bass playing/presence.

28. Gorement - The Ending Quest [1994]

Remember God Macabre? Well, this is a lot like them. Same mix of classic Stockholm Death and doom. But this album is much more well-developed. It was reissued, thankfully, by Necroharmonic, a few years back as part of the Darkness of the Dead anthology. Well worth your money if you're into this type of DM. And yes, Bloodbath did pretty much steal their logo.

29. Antropomorphia - Necromantic Love Songs [1993]

A Dutch band that ostensibly got its name from that classic Pestilence song. This EP was their only official release, but it was a damn fine one. The Pestilence influence is obvious, but there are also touches of Bolt Thrower and Covenant-era Morbid Angel. DeathevokatioN covered "Chunks of Meat" on their full-length.

30. Algophobia - Algophobia [1997]

Only listened to this one a couple of times, but that's enough to know that it's a hidden gem. Kinetic Italian death metal in the vein of Atheist's Piece of Time and Death's Human with vocals similar to those of Necrodeath or Resurrection. I'll probably update this once I've listened to it more.

BONUS! Ripping Corpse - unreleased 1992 album

I couldn't put it on the list because it was never properly released [or finished, for that matter]. But this album would have been one of the best ever if it had been completed. Dreaming With the Dead was a great record, but everything that was great about it is improved several times over on this album. Just snake riff after neck-snapping snake riff. You can download it by following the link from my profile sidebar. One listen and you, too, will call Shaune Kelley your daddy. The rip also includes the equally phenomenal 3-song Promo 1992.

Immolation Incantation Vader Suffocation Dismember Entombed Carcass Spasme Cryptopsy Gorguts Necrophobic Necrophagist Carbonized Cadaver Excommunion Stargazer Portal Abramelin Adramelech The Firstborn Impaled Exhumed Monstrosity Vile Deeds of Flesh Severed Savior Decrepit Birth Ved Buens Ende Deteriorot Goreaphobia Testament Therion Grave Cannibal Corpse Vital Remains Sabbat Luciferion Deicide Sadus Obituary Repulsion Possessed Carnage Drawn and Quartered Sentenced Martyr Hypocrisy Grotesque God Dethroned Vomitory Demolition Hammer Revocation Angelcorpse Order From Chaos Axis of Advance Zyklon Malevolent Creation Resurrection Edge of Sanity Usurper Celtic Frost Enslaved Voivod Anata Iniquity Dim Mak Megadeth Cancer Rune Runemagick Deceased Meshuggah Gorod Psycroptic Centinex Cenotaph Ancient Gods Dying Fetus Odious Mortem Burning Inside !T.O.O.H.!Lykathea Aflame Afflicted Darkthrone Sotajumala Cauldron Black Ram Ruins Catacombs Disembowelment Evoken Dark Angel Slayer Nile Melechesh Opeth Creepmime Swordmaster Abigor Natron Neuraxis Devourment Origin Arghoslent Aborted Skinless Kataklysm Infernal Majesty Orphaned Land Paradise Lost Septic Flesh Satyricon Dead Congregation Defeated Sanity Morgion Atrocity Samael Beherit Behemoth The Crown Misery Mithras Akercocke Intestine Baalism Infester Mercyless Loudblast Disciples of Mockery Mortem Funebrarum Funebre Disillusion Convulse Rudra Appalling Spawn Anathema Kaamos Asphyx Hail of Bullets Deathspell Omega Revenant Internal Suffering

Suicide Silence Carnifex The Partisan Turbine The Red Chord Cattle Decapitation Bring Me the Horizon Knights Of The Abyss Annotations Of An Autopsy Whitechapel Waking The Cadaver The Faceless Despised Icon The Black Dahlia Murder All Shall Perish Job For A Cowboy Animosity Misericordiam Emmure Elysia Underneath The Gun See You Next Tuesday As Blood Runs Black War From A Harlot's Mouth Arsonists Get All The Girls With Blood Comes Cleansing Belay My Last Postmortem Promises Burning Skies Rose Funeral Salt The Wound A Black Rose Burial Winds of Plague killwhitneydead

[the deathcore faggots might actually learn something...]

Metallica: A Postmortem

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 05:32:29 +0000

In the wake of the release of the new single "The Day That Never Comes", as well as other songs leaked from Metallica's new album Death Magnetic, fans and critics are claiming a 'return to form' for the former thrash titans. And while it is true that the aforementioned single does sound relatively similar to the classics "Sanitarium" and "One", and another leaked track "My Apocalypse" sounds a lot like "Battery", I must regrettably inform people that this is in no way a return to form. Metallica is dead and they are never coming back.

As a matter of fact, Metallica died in 1991. Once a band becomes so powerful, popular and RICH that they no longer have any problems that their money won't fix, they become artistically dead.
The Black Album was where they truly sold out. When they hired Bob Rock and composed a plethora of radio-friendly pop-rock songs under his supervision, they were officially and irrevocably compromised as musicians. There was no going back after that. There was no more artistic motivation. There was no more reason for them to write music that would help them reach that level, because they were satisfied with what they had accomplished.
Load, Reload andSt. Anger merely served as wake-up calls to those fans who failed to see the forest for the trees with The Black Album. Sadly, for every fan they lost who had helped build their career from nothing over the previous decade, two more fickle pop fans who lacked the kind of dedication to the underground that their original fans had came on board. And so it continued for another decade and a half, until with St. Anger they started to suffer some real consequences for their own artistic laziness, putting out an album that was not only critically panned, but had disappointing sales figures [though still ones that 99.9% of all bands could only dream about].
So they hit the proverbial panic button, and decided that the only way to avoid becoming nothing more than a punchline was to try to win back some of the fans that they'd abandoned in the early 90s, while still maintaining the pop credibility that they'd gained during that time. And so we have an album that appears to be nothing more than a pale imitation of what Metallica once was. An album containing cut-rate reprisals of classic songs from the Ride/Puppets/Justice era, but with none of the balls, soul, originality, or staying power, but also doubtlessly several of the type of insipid radio rock staples that made the previous four albums so reviled. It's one big, fat, transparent compromise from a band that built a reputation for themselves in the underground two decades ago precisely because they refused to compromise.
The same thing happened with Slayer on Christ Illusion. You can tell they were trying to recapture the sound that made them legends, but only because they were being pressured to do so by an unhappy contingent of fans who resented their flirtation with nu-metal on the prior two records, not because they actually wanted to do it.
Slayer knew it would've been commercial suicide for them to do another 'God Hates Us All' type album, so they brought back the old logo, recruited Larry Carroll [of Reign in Blood/South of Heaven/Seasons in the Abyss fame] to do the cover art, and wrote a bunch of paint-by-numbers thrash songs to appease those disgruntled fans. It was their 'best' record since Divine Intervention, sure, but it was also totally disposable, and lacked any of the staying power of those first five or six albums. Not one of the songs could've been considered a classic in any sense of the word.
Death Magnetic is Metallica's Christ Illusion. Metallica didn't recruit Pushead to do the artwork, but they did practically everything else that Slayer did for Christ Illusion. They brought back the old logo, they got Rick Rubin to produce [probably only because Flemming Rasmussen was unavailable], and they wrote a bunch of songs reminiscent of their 80s material. The difference is that while "Battery" and "Sanitarium" are timeless classics, "My Apocalypse" and "The Day That Never Comes" are second-rate knockoffs through and through.

Earlier tonight, I came across this posting elsewhere:
So I'm in the car with the lady friend today, and we do not share the same taste in music really, at all. I've gotten her to wise-up a bit and listen to/enjoy about 2 Tool songs, but overall I'm still Tool/Mars Volta/System of a Down, and she's still Usher/Whitney Houston/Christina Aguilera.

Anyways, I'm flippin through radio stations, and The Day That Never Comes starts playing. And I didn't recognize it right away, but my girlfriend sits there for a few seconds, doesn't say anything, looks at me and says, "Oh, is this new Staind?" Laughing

That anecdote further punctuates the biggest problem with post-AJFA Metallica.

In the 1980s, they were LEADERS. They were certainly not the only thrash band around, but they were the only one that wrote songs the way they did. Songs that didn't just have thrash aggression, but also delved into the realms of epic/progressive rock, and were often in excess of 8 minutes, with multiple key and tempo changes. Other bands that emerged in the late 80s, like Testament and Sabbat sought to emulate them, not vice-versa.

Once they teamed up with Bob Rock, they were no longer leaders. The songs they were wrote under his watchful eye for The Black Album were not the unique and potent mix of thrash and epic metal that Metallica had become known for. Instead, they were the kind of pop-oriented, verse-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus formulaic hokum that he'd perfected on albums like Aerosmith's 'Permanent Vacation' and Bon Jovi's 'Slippery When Wet'. Sure, there were outliers... vestigial remnants of the classic Metallica sound like "Through the Never", "The God That Failed" and "Don't Tread on Me" but it was predominantly these sing-along pop-rock anthems that sold most of those 15 million units.

And as the 90s continued, Metallica sank further and further into the morass of commercial rock, incorporating elements from whatever the flavor of the month happened to be at the time of Load and Reload's releases. Everything from Pearl Jam, to Live, to Stone Temple Pilots. In fact, the first time I heard Creed's "My Own Prison" on the radio, back when I was still young and naive enough to actually listen to commercial radio, I initially thought that I was listening to a new Metallica song. THAT is telling of just how far the band had fallen. They'd gone from the forefront of metal innovation to taking their cues from whatever cookie-cutter alterna-schlock band happened to be getting airplay at the time.

And they're still doing it. You'll note that while the song is an apparent attempt to copy the Sanitarium/One formula, the first half of "The Day that Never Comes" bears more than a passing resemblance to Nickelback or Staind.
So much for that 'return to form', huh?

RIP Metallica 1981-1990

Megadeth Iron Maiden Exodus Voivod Death Possessed Dark Angel Coroner Kreator Sodom Celtic Frost Destruction Sadus Anthrax S.O.D.Fates Warning Armored Saint Death Angel Forced Entry Obliveon Infernal Majesty Mercyful Fate Candlemass Manilla Road Diamondhead Motörhead Atheist Hellhammer Venom Judas Priest Thin Lizzy Helloween Blind Guardian