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            <pubDate>Thu, 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
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      <docs>http://www.audioscrobbler.net/data/webservices</docs>      <title>krischin4's Last.fm Journal</title>
      <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal</link>
      <description>The Last.fm journal for krischin4.
        Last.fm journals are a place to talk about all things music.</description>
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         <title>laterrr</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/11/14/554q5c_laterrr</link>
         <pubDate>Mon, 14 Nov 2011 06:18:35 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/11/14/554q5c_laterrr</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">1-800-ass-milk:<br /><br />1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?<br /><br />2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?<br /><br />3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?<br />4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?<br />5:Do you like to use post-it notes?<br />6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?<br />7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?<br />8:Do you have freckles?<br />9:Do you always smile for pictures?<br />10:What is your biggest pet peeve?<br />11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?<br />12:Have you ever peed in the woods?<br />13:What about pooped in the woods?<br />14:Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?<br />15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?<br />16:How many people have you slept with this week?<br />17:What size is your bed?<br />18:What is your Song of the week?<br />19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?<br />20:Do you still watch cartoons?<br />21:Whats your least favorite movie?<br />22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?<br />23:What do you drink with dinner?<br />24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?<br />25:What is your favorite food?<br />26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?<br />27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?<br />28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?<br />29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?<br />30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?<br />31:Can you change the oil on a car?<br />32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?<br />33:Ever ran out of gas?<br />34:Favorite kind of sandwich?<br />35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?<br />36:What is your usual bedtime?<br />37:Are you lazy?<br />38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?<br />39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?<br />40:How many languages can you speak?<br />41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?<br />42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?<br />43:Are you stubborn?<br />44:Who is better…Leno or Letterman?<br />45:Ever watch soap operas?<br />46:Are you afraid of heights?<br />47:Do you sing in the car?<br />48:Do you sing in the shower?<br />49:Do you dance in the car?<br />50:Ever used a gun?<br />51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?<br />52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?<br />53:Is Christmas stressful?<br />54:Ever eat a pierogi?<br />55:Favorite type of fruit pie?<br />56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?<br />57:Do you believe in ghosts?<br />58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?<br />59:Take a vitamin daily?<br />60:Wear slippers?<br />61:Wear a bath robe?<br />62:What do you wear to bed?<br />63:First concert?<br />64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?<br />65:Nike or Adidas?<br />66:Cheetos Or Fritos?<br />67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?<br />68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?<br />69:Ever take dance lessons?<br />70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?<br />71:Can you curl your tongue?<br />72:Ever won a spelling bee?<br />73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?<br />74:Own any record albums?<br />75:Own a record player?<br />76:Regularly burn incense?<br />77:Ever been in love?<br />78:Who would you like to see in concert?<br />79:What was the last concert you saw?<br />80:Hot tea or cold tea?<br />81:Tea or coffee?<br />82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?<br />83:Can you swim well?<br />84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?<br />85:Are you patient?<br />86:DJ or band, at a wedding?<br />87:Ever won a contest?<br />88:Ever have plastic surgery?<br />89:Which are better black or green olives?<br />90:Can you knit or crochet?<br />91:Best room for a fireplace?<br />92:Do you want to get married?<br />93:If married, how long have you been married?<br />94:Who was your HS crush?<br />95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?<br />96:Do you have kids?<br />97:Do you want kids?<br />98:Whats your favorite color?<br />99:Do you miss anyone right now?<br /><br />I’ve gotten 0 asks today. Come on, do it.<br /><br />holla holla holla holla holla at a bitch. Lemme holla. Holla holla holla. Can i holla? lemme holla atcha.</div>]]></description>
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         <title>Who cares?</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/08/09/4j29gw_who_cares%3F</link>
         <pubDate>Tue, 9 Aug 2011 00:26:42 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/08/09/4j29gw_who_cares%3F</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">There's a negative to every positive.<br />As so a positive to every negative.</div>]]></description>
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         <title>SEAN SEANNNN &lt;3..</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/05/12/4dlfo4_sean_seannnn_%3C3..</link>
         <pubDate>Thu, 12 May 2011 03:14:06 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/05/12/4dlfo4_sean_seannnn_%3C3..</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">Today<br /><br />7:05pm<br />You okay love?<br /><br />no.<br /><br />What's wrong?):<br /><br />I show my happiness all around,<br />but down deep I'm not happy.<br />not that much at least.<br />I wish I could tell you everything.<br /><br />Hey,<br />Christian<br />You can love<br /><br />Hey<br />Sean,<br />Are you sure?<br /><br />Christian,<br />You're one of my best friends<br />I love you TO DEATH!<br />I'm always here for you<br />You can tell my anything(:<br /><br />You won't think of me the same.. though.<br /><br />Christian,<br />NOTHING you say will change the way I look at you<br /><br />I love you so much Sean.<br /><br />Love you too<br /><br />I'm just scared to tell you.<br /><br />Christian<br />It's fine<br />You can tell me anything<br />and I'll listen<br />and still love you the same<br />):?<br /><br />okay fine.<br /><br /><br /><br />the reason for all this sadness right now is that my mom just like exploded on my little brother and i. and it really just scared us to death that we were both trying to defend ourselves then she just started blaming all of her mistakes on us.<br />i don't know how to explain it, but i guess yeah.. if that makes sense.<br />and to go with that..<br />everytime i am sad or feeling alone inside.. i get &quot;the thoughts&quot;.<br />and here is the story behind all of this bullshit.<br /><br />That sounds EXACTLY like me and my mom<br />I get that EVERY DAY!<br />I know exactly how you feel right now love.<br />Just don't let ANYBODY bring you down!<br />Not even your own mother can understand you sometimes<br />You're an amazing person Christian<br />and an AMAZZZINGG friend!<br />Don't let anyone tell you otherwise<br />and NEVER get the thoughts<br />get that out of your headd!<br />Because I love you way too much<br />and i have NOOO idea what I would do without you in my life anymore<br /><br />three and half years ago I attempted to kill myself, because I am one of those people that bottles up stress with them too much to where the point is you just want to EXPLODE, i can't stop thinking to that day. And there are sometimes that i just want to wish that i had done it. I tried doing it, because i didn't feel the love from my parents when i was with them separately when they got a divorce. Ever since then my mom has changed so much, and she isn't how i remember her to be. And my dad oh I love him to death. we have gotten closer more than anything right now, and i really feel like maybe if i move with my dad it will help with my mom and i but then when i'm with my dad i don't get to hang out with my friends barely.i don't even know what i am saying right now, but my mom tried coming to talk to me just now and i told her that i didn't want to, because i couldn't handle the crying anymore.<br />but God saved me.<br /><br />Christian<br />that was 3 years ago,<br />If you think no one loves you and your family doesn't love you know well you better think again!<br />Don't forget that you have a SECOND family here with 1SB and we love you more than ANYTHING!<br />During breakfast me, james, and ian always talk about how you need to sit with us and how we miss you(:<br />You're seriously one of our best friends, you're part of our family and it wouldn't be one step beyond without you!<br />WE LOVE YOUUUUUU!<br />I LOVE YOUU!!<br />I have no idea what I just said, I just rambled on and on so sorry if you don't understand(:<br /><br />i understand. <br />thank you.<br />i'm doing better.<br />you have helped a lot.<br />and that is why i love you Sean.<br />You are seriously a blessing to me.<br />I can't thank you enough.<br />i want to say more. <br />but taking deep breaths is all i can do at the moment.<br /><br /><br /><br />and your heart just warmed mine up.<br />it's becoming happy again.<br /><br />(:<br />That's what friends are for love <br /><br />you mean brothers.<br /><br />I gotta go do homework :b<br /><br /> <br /><br />(:<br /><br />Love you<br /><br />come back soon?<br />love you more<br /><br />HEYYY<br /><br />HIIII<br /><br />You can just text me(:<br />ANYTIME<br />24/7! D:<br /><br />kk,<br />i will take you up on that.<br /><br />AIGGHTT(:<br /><br />i'm gonna dance.<br /><br />BYEEEE :DD<br /><br />it helps.<br />bye!</div>]]></description>
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         <title>SEAN SEANNNN &lt;3</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/05/04/4d428e_sean_seannnn_%3C3</link>
         <pubDate>Wed, 4 May 2011 04:40:12 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/05/04/4d428e_sean_seannnn_%3C3</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">Today<br /><br />HOW WAS DANCE (:?<br /><br />Wonderful <br /><br />sorry we made you late <br /><br />don't apologize love <br /><br />(:<br />You're the best sister EEEVVVVERRRR<br /><br />HEHE,<br />thankks yo!<br />butttttttttttttt.<br />you are the best BRO eva!<br />:))<br /><br /> <br /><br />:))<br /> did you wish?<br /><br />CHYEAAA<br /><br />IGHT.<br /><br /><br /><br />LMFAO<br />YOU'RE THE BEST CHRISTIAN(:<br /><br />No you ARE!<br /> But thanks !<br /><br />but you're TOTTALYY WELCOMMME!<br />well,<br />Im going to sleep<br />and YOU SHOULD TOO!<br />Night love</div>]]></description>
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         <title>poor forrest.</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/26/4clp75_poor_forrest.</link>
         <pubDate>Tue, 26 Apr 2011 02:17:56 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/26/4clp75_poor_forrest.</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">Forrest Althaus<br />GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!<br />25 minutes ago via iPhone · Unlike · <br />You, Michelle Reyes, Keely McCann and 2 others like this.<br />50 of 68<br /><br />Christian Johnson Me?<br />21 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Forrest Althaus Lololo<br />21 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Forrest Althaus L<br />21 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Keely McCann haha , okay(:<br />but not of us are cool , just trying to fit in .<br />21 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson NOT ME!<br />DON'T EAT ME! <br />I am cool. <br />I think everyone here is cooooool.<br />20 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson except Forrest Althaus.<br />20 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Billy Davila I<br />20 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Billy Davila EAT<br />20 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Billy Davila THE<br />20 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Billy Davila BOTH<br />20 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Billy Davila OF<br />20 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Billy Davila YOU!!<br />20 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Forrest Althaus What is this<br />20 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Keely McCann nahh , not me or Payton Diaz .<br />20 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson AS in me?<br />20 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Billy Davila THE BOTH!<br />19 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Billy Davila IF I SEE YOU!<br />19 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Eric Gulledge Forrest!<br />19 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Billy Davila I WILL TEAR YO' ASS UP!<br />19 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Christian Johnson Alright well if anyone doesn't see me tomorrow,<br />I will be eatin by Billy.<br />So yeah.<br />18 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Eric Gulledge i need to get in there with you!<br />18 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Keely McCann okay , cool .<br />18 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson Thanks Keely for not backin me up!<br />I'm gonna get eatin now.<br />17 minutes ago · Like<br />Billy Davila tear that ass up....BOTH OF YOU!<br />17 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Christian Johnson NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.<br />and Forrest Althaus it is nothing.<br />17 minutes ago · Like<br />Eric Gulledge OHWOHOWOHO!!!!<br />17 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Eric Gulledge Lies it's everything!<br />17 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Keely McCann i got chu .<br />DUMBAR , don't eat christian , she's cool .<br />that good?<br />16 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson I meant EVERYTHING.<br />yeah!<br />16 minutes ago · Like<br />Forrest Althaus Stop I hate Christian <br />16 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson YES thanks.<br />16 minutes ago · Like<br />Billy Davila yous' think im lying? PFFFFFFTTTTT.<br />16 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson WHAT?!<br />15 minutes ago · Like<br />Payton Diaz Lmao Billy maybe I need to tear your ass up?:o<br />15 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Keely McCann any time , bro(:<br />15 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson I agree Payton Diaz and thanks sis Keely McCann. :)<br />14 minutes ago · Like<br />Billy Davila teaaarr that asssss UP!<br />14 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Eric Gulledge FAG!<br />14 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Keely McCann dumbar [Billy Davila]<br />calm down!<br />13 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Billy Davila ITS DUNNNNBAR!<br />13 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Eric Gulledge POONJAB!<br />12 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Billy Davila nah.<br />12 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Keely McCann DUMbar .<br />12 minutes ago · Unlike ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson I don't even know you people!<br />11 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson well yes i do..<br />11 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Christian Johnson ‎Forrest Althaus<br />you hate me?<br />10 minutes ago · Like ·  1 person<br />Eric Gulledge Everyone hates you!<br />10 minutes ago · Like<br />Keely McCann you know me(:<br />hell , everyone know me , justkidding , everyone knows me and hates me :|<br />(;<br />10 minutes ago · Unlike ·  2 people<br />Billy Davila <a href="http://www.facebook.com/FurtiveHallucinations" rel="nofollow">http://www.facebook.com/FurtiveHallucinations</a> GO LIKE US!! ITS MY BAND!! WE ARE SELLING WRISTBANDS! I WILL NOT EAT YOU IF YOU LIKE US!<br />10 minutes ago · Like<br />Keely McCann i think i'm done here?<br />9 minutes ago · Like<br />Christian Johnson I don't hate you Keely McCann!<br />and I almost am too. <br />poor Forrest Althaus.<br />8 minutes ago · Like<br />Billy Davila hot sauce.<br />7 minutes ago · Like<br />Christian Johnson ‎Eric Gulledge<br />you hate me too?<br />a few seconds ago · Like</div>]]></description>
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         <title>ssstevie!</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/24/4ch9gt_ssstevie!</link>
         <pubDate>Sun, 24 Apr 2011 05:51:33 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/24/4ch9gt_ssstevie!</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">9:59pm<br />i'm jealous<br />that's all i want.<br /><br />I'm sorry.<br /><br />it's not your fault. i'm so happy for you. <br />but.<br />i'm just feeling sorry for myself at this point.<br /><br />Thank you,<br />it took me a while to get this.<br />and yours is coming soon.<br /><br />i hope. <br />it's not fair. <br />nothing personal, i'm jealous of pretty much everyone in a relationship.<br />but. ya know.<br /><br />i was too.<br />but that 11:11 stuff really works,<br />i'm tellin ya.<br />and i love you Stevie <br /><br />i love you too. &lt;4<br />&lt;345<br /><br />lol.<br />:_<br /><br />678<br /><br /> 9 10 11<br /><br />mmm<br />so tell me about him<br /><br />I'm of course taller than him.<br />and he has the coolest eyes ever.<br /><br />and you love taking pictures of eyes<br /><br />he's a wrestler.<br />and really sarcastic like i am.<br />and i dooooooooooooooo.<br /><br /><br />aweee<br />i'm so happy for you!<br />i really mean that<br /><br />thank you Stevie,<br />for once in my life.<br />i am happy for myself.<br /><br />thats wonderful.<br /><br />you're wonderful.<br /><br />i love you.<br /><br />i love youu.<br />why <br /><br />why do i love you?<br /><br />why am i so. pathetic.<br /><br />you aren't.<br />why do you think that.<br />WHY.<br /><br />i want this guy (for goodness sake, he wants to be a missionary), and we had a thing, but kinda just cut it off, and i don't know how to feel anymore. <br />and i miss my best friend, but i can't say anything because then it seems like i am asking too much from her.<br />and i quit worship team because i can't get passed ryan's big headed attitude, but i refuse to talk to fox about it. <br />and i just wanna leave.<br />and get famous.<br />and i hate crying/.<br />-<br />tht's why.<br /><br />I'm still taking it in,<br />and understanding..<br /><br />i'm a mess<br /><br />no no.<br /><br />i tweeted this last night.. &quot;God, where are You? Why does it all hurt like this? I can't handle this sadness! At least let me sleep tonight, please..&quot;<br /><br />10:39pm<br />and did you sleep?<br />did he respond?<br /><br />i slept. but he woke me up early. <br /><br />did he talk to you?<br /><br />i wasn't listening..<br /><br />why not?<br /><br />because i was dozing in and out of sleep from 745 til 930a.<br /><br />Try talking to Him now.<br />he's telling me that he has something to say.<br /><br />i've been crying the past few days, man.<br /><br />tears are good to let out.<br />they really are.<br /><br />i hate it.<br /><br />i know .<br /><br />i'm sorry.<br /><br />will you be at church tomorrow?<br />i will see you there,<br />sorry for what?<br /><br />i don't know why. i'm sorry though./<br /><br />ohh<br />that's okay.<br /><br />i'm pretty sure i will.<br /><br />and when you get famous,<br />can i please be your photographer?<br /><br />yes. thanks&lt;3.<br /><br />mkay.<br /><br />i'm going to go to bed now. goodnight. i love you<br /><br />you can count on me.<br />ditto,<br />and i love you so much Stevie !<br />dream happy dreams and put on a smile for me, and God. I promise it will be worthwhile to you <br />gooodnight.</div>]]></description>
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         <title>tttttaylor</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/23/4cg3c9_tttttaylor</link>
         <pubDate>Sat, 23 Apr 2011 18:13:36 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/23/4cg3c9_tttttaylor</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">hey budd (:<br /><br />10:44am<br />hello <br /><br />HI<br /><br />HEYE.<br /><br />HEY<br /><br />guess what.<br /><br />what ?(:<br /><br />I MISS YOU! /:<br /><br />I know /:<br />Hey are you alone ?<br /><br />No.<br />Why??<br /><br />Who you with ?<br />God I sound like a rapist ...<br /><br />Jordan but she is still asleep!<br />and hahahaha, you do! <br />Dude,<br />i better make sure she is still alive..<br />she has been sleeping for a long time!<br /><br />lmao , dude her and lindsay are friends again on facebook , i was like oh snap @<br />and yeah you should check haha<br />i miss her so much ///:<br /><br />lol,<br />yeah,<br />they are friends again..<br />or in other words coooooooool!<br />and I know you do.<br /><br />we went from being best friends to acting like we dont know each other /:<br /><br />Why'd you ask again?<br />i'm really sorry.<br /><br />it sucks &lt;/3<br /><br />I know &lt;/3<br /><br />I pray every time I got to church things will work out between us and for her to give me another chance /: and I want to tell her that but she'll think I'm a creep /:<br /><br />Who gives a shitokie, what she'll think of you when you say that?<br />Because you really just need to tell her.<br />Trust me.<br />and with whatever her response is,<br />promise her and keep reassuring her that things will be better and it won't be like &quot;the other times&quot;<br /><br />i know /: i just want us to be knew and everyone look at us like omg taylor and jordan are the coolest best friends ever , and i want her to come over like she did , i just dont even know how i have survived the past 4 months without her I try to act happy but on the inside im dying , and i bet you anything if she were to read this she'd think i was the creeepiest kid alive ! /:<br /><br />no she wouldn't.<br /><br />you're too optimistic christian  <br /><br />what does that mean?<br /><br />you see the positive side to everything there is out there , and i love that about you .<br /><br />thank you.<br />if there isn't a possitve all the time person (optimistic) then nothing will ever work.<br />I promise you that.<br /><br />should i text her ? <br /><br />I know it sounds corny and cheesy but..<br />anything is possible if you just believe.<br /><br />agreee ^<br /><br />Yes,<br />but perferably not right now, she is asleep.<br />lol.<br /><br />im nervous !<br /><br />it's okay to be <br /><br />you should show her these when she waks up /:<br />wakes *<br /><br />i willll!<br /><br />thank you so much tell me when to text her and what to say , please ? /:<br /><br />11:03am<br />of course taylor! <br /><br />thank you <br /><br />sooooooooooooooooooooo<br />welcome.</div>]]></description>
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         <title>a lost a friend.</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/22/4ccjaz_a_lost_a_friend.</link>
         <pubDate>Fri, 22 Apr 2011 03:11:20 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/22/4ccjaz_a_lost_a_friend.</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">Today<br /><br />6:50pm<br />hey man.<br /><br />Hey.<br /><br />How are you?<br /><br />Could be better<br /><br />I want to hear about it,<br />What's wrong?<br /><br />Have you read my recent statuses?<br /><br />Yes, <br />I have.<br /><br />That pretty much sums it up<br /><br />what about the note?<br />you posted on monday.<br /><br />That too<br /><br />What friends are you loosing?<br />unless you don't wanna talk about it?<br /><br />Well I'm only really losing one<br /><br />who?<br /><br />Well I'm not sure if I am but lately it has felt like I am<br /><br />Is it me?<br /><br />Yes<br /><br />my stomach just feel to the floor.<br />fell*<br /><br />...<br /><br />I don't want this to be happening.<br />I am going to fix this.<br /><br />I wish you would have tried a little sooner/:<br /><br />For the longest time, <br />i thought you were just mad at me.<br />So,<br />i just gave you your space.<br /><br />No, I was just wondering why you kinda stopped, texting me, talking to me on facebook, walked by me twice every morning at breakfast and never said hi, stopped wating for me after 6th, stuff like that<br /><br />I wondered why I did that stuff too,<br />recently I have cut back on texting to where I don't text anymore and I don't get on Facebook as much, I don't know why I stopped walking with you after sixth because I now just walk by myself. And after seventh was because I would always be late. I miss being your best friend. I really do. I miss saying I love you, to you. I miss giving you ginormous hugs, I miss talking to you, I miss everything about you. But there isn't one day that I go by without thinking of you. Every morning when I wake up and every night when I fall asleep, I see the bear that you got for me, and I give it a huge hug and think of you. And I think that that's you and you hug me back. I love you Durk Watts, and I really want to be your bestfriend again.<br /><br />Christian, I miss you too, but, I don't know, it's hard to type while crying cause chasing cars just came on on my ipod, I just, have I guess have moved on in this time of not being as close to you. Like, I rally want to be bestriends again too, but I think we have drifted too far apart lately, and I see it being too hard to get back as close as we were.<br /><br />But we can do it, <br />I have faith in us.<br />God does too.<br />He just told me.<br />Tears are good to let out,<br />the other day I thought about all of my friends and how they have made an amazing impact on my life, and I thought of you the most. I would be in a little box with no friends if there was no you. I can't loose you, I'll fight to get you back, not physical of course but Spiritually. Chasing Cars is a great song to listen to, because it just lets out all of your emotions and feelings, that is why I just put it on.. because I have started to cry and think of the wonderful times we have shared and will share again in the future.<br /><br />The only thing keeping me from agreeing with this and trying it again is I just don't want this to happen again. It tears me apart to see you everyday, the girl who used to be my bestfriend, the one I trusted with everything, the one I talked to all ight every night, just not talk to me, this is the first time I have cried since whathappened with my mom, 2 years ago. Christian you have no idea how much you have impacted me, how much you mean to me, I just, I don't know Christian, all of this has hurt me so bad, I just can't seem to get the strength to try this again, knowing the fact that there is a possibility I could lose this again<br /><br />Christian I'm sorry, but I can't do it<br /><br />Well, I'm not giving up. <br />I don't want to loose you, <br />so when you decide to come back to me,<br />I will be here. I hate to see you go away, <br />so I won't let you. Watch me.<br /><br />7:46pm<br />I respect you for that, but right now, I dn't think I can, but who knows what the future hold, guess we can only wait and see. For now this is goodbye.<br /><br />It's goodbye until Monday when I see your beautiful face and give you the biggest hug ever. The future holds good news for the two of us. I can't wait to long!<br /><br />I love you.<br />a lot.<br />too much to explain.<br /><br /><br />Christian, once again, I am sorry, but this isn't going o work out this soon, it willt ake time. <br />*will take<br /><br />I have something for you on Monday, <br />Tuesday<br />Wednesday<br />Thursday<br />and Friday.<br />k?<br /><br />Mkay.<br /><br />smile ? please for me!<br /><br />I wish I could.<br /><br />hold on...<br />Tell me one way that you think I could fix this right now.<br />I would like your opinion.<br /><br />Christian, honestly, there is no way for it to be fixed right now, not at this moment.<br /><br />k, <br />when you think of something please please let me know <br />I want to fix this. I don't like seeing you sad. It makes me sad.<br />I would call you and talk to you or even text you, but my phone got stolen on Tuesday.<br />So yeah.<br /><br />Goodnight.<br /><br />8:02pm<br />goodnight,<br />sleep happy dreams Durk.<br />please ?<br /><br />offline...<br /><br />me: /:</div>]]></description>
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         <title>truth be told.</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/20/4c801m_truth_be_told.</link>
         <pubDate>Wed, 20 Apr 2011 05:17:51 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/20/4c801m_truth_be_told.</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">Did you find out about Friday?<br /><br />i have not. But i'm sure my mom will say yes.<br />i apoligize a million times, there has been so much going on lately.<br /><br />No sweat chica.  Hey when you get a chance, can you get me your aunt's address again?  I want to send them a card.<br /><br />yesssir.<br /><br />so how was your weekend with papa?<br /><br />the best.<br /><br />What did ya do?<br /><br />ride dirtbikes the entire weekend.<br /><br />What kind does your pops ride?<br /><br />he just rides mine sometimes,<br />but he doesn't have his dirtbike anymore.<br />he has a suzuki though, as a motorcycle.<br /><br />Nice.  I need to learn how to ride a bike before I die.<br /><br />you should.<br /><br />Someday<br /><br />hey, <br />blanco...<br />can i ask you something that i ask you frequently?<br /><br />You always can<br /><br />why me?<br /><br />You know sometimes I wonder. Its not that I wonder about you, sometimes I wonder about me. Like what am I trying to do with this group. My father was an alcoholic. I'm gonna share this with you and please promise me that it stays only with you. I was sexually assaulted on two occasions by different groups of &quot;teenage girls&quot; when I was very young. I came across a statistic that said 1 in 3 girls is sexually assaulted as a child. On tap of all that my dad did drugs throughout my childhood. <br />I have seen first hand all the crap that can and does happen to kids. I believe that our society has an attitude that drinking is nothing but fun and games. Sex is natural and fun. If people want to do drugs and not bother others, then they should be able to. After living what I've lived, seen the chaos in the classroom that I've seen, I'm just sick of it all. I wanted to change things. Problem is to find strong kids that see what I am saying and are willing to stand up to all that pressure. You are the perfect example of what it takes to change a corrupt society into something better. You have a heart of gold and naturally others want to be around it. I can't begin to tell you how much I respect you.  Sorry if I doubled the message.<br />Hope that wasnt too heavy for you.  <br /><br />I'm still taking it all in.<br /><br />You having second thoughts?<br /><br />yes.<br /><br />In what ways?<br />I just want to understand what's happening.<br /><br />Does this silence represent your answer?<br /><br />no , this silence resembles me thinking of absolutely everything.<br /><br />Your a great girl Christian.  I can't speak to any flaw within you.  That is an amazing thing.  However, a lot changes between Freshman to Senior years and beyond.  I invited you to 1SB because I know you can appreciate living a positive life.  Most kids don't.  I wanted to see you be a leader and to have other friends to hang with that believed in a positive lifestyle as well.  I just pray that if you choose to leave us, that you don't give in to the pressure that you will definitely be placed under.  A lot of my students say that they won't change, a lot of my students lose that fight.  We all love you here and don't want to lose you for anything.  But in the end, you have to do what you want.  You have an innocence and pureness about you that most don't, I just don't want you to end up becoming &quot;regular&quot; like the rest of us.<br /><br />this is the most i've cried all day, and it's been a horrible day.<br /><br />I don't want you to cry.  Can you just say why you want to leave?<br /><br />i never said i wanted to leave, i've had thoughts on why i might have to. but i've never thought thoroughly through. <br />i asked why me because i don't understand still why people pick me to hurt.<br /><br />I thought you were saying you wanted to.  Why would you have to?<br /><br />To make time for myself.<br />I don't have any of that right now.<br /><br />I don't understand the hurting part.  Christian there is nothing but love and respect for you from me.  I have no problem working you into the program.  I dont do that even for the kids that were in the program from the beginning like Daryan.  <br /><br />I understand and value that to the highest level possible. hurting as in my heart, not you though others,<br />i don't know how to explain.<br /><br />I could be wrong but this is just what I sense. I believe that you, more than any other person I know, have a pure heart and stand up for what you believe. I have seen how others long to be around you, though I have noticed that some look to just take advantage of your kindness. I can tell you that attitudes and environments are going to change over the next few years. <br />I just don't know how your gonna stay true to who your heart wants to be, if all your friends are partying and doing whatever they want. I lost that fight and so did every other Christian I know, unless they were treated like your mom was by being kept home. Thats why I started this program, so social people like you could be apart of something fun but positive. If you feel that the program isn't fun for you or isn't positive for you then though it hurts me, I would say consider your other options. But please promise me that you will ask yourself this question first, will whatever I fill my spare time with be a positive uplifting thing? Please just don't end up like so many of us have. You are so much better than that and worth so much more than that.</div>]]></description>
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         <title>blancs and i</title>
         <link>http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/15/4bx7ip_blancs_and_i</link>
         <pubDate>Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:40:05 +0000</pubDate>
         <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.last.fm/user/krischin4/journal/2011/04/15/4bx7ip_blancs_and_i</guid>
         <description><![CDATA[<div class="bbcode">5:50pm<br />hiiii<br /><br />hello chickidy.  Sorry for the late reply.  I just got back home.  How you doin?<br /><br />hi! I'm good. just need to know the details.<br /><br />details of what?  of tomorrow?<br /><br />yes.<br /><br />Tomorrow I'm gonna pick everyone up around 10-10:30 and we're gonna go have a picnic at Universal City Park in Universal City which is about 3-5 minutes down from the Forum. We'll probably drop off between 4 and 4:30.  If I need to work something out for you to be able to come, just let me know.  <br /><br />i can't.<br />i have to watch james till noon.<br />I'm sorry.<br /><br />What if we took you and your bro.  Then your dad can come to the park and pick him up?  Think it would work?<br /><br />ummm.. let me see.<br />he is still on crutches and is trying to not drive to too much. So I'm not sure he will say yes.<br /><br />Hope I dont sound pushy.<br /><br />no no you don't.<br />i hope i don't sound helpless.<br />he said no.<br /><br />thats ok sweety.  <br /><br />but i feel bad.<br /><br />Your such a great person Christian.  You just dont know how much I look up to you.<br />Juan is offline.</div>]]></description>
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