en http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/uk/ Thu, 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 Thu, 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 60 http://www.audioscrobbler.net/data/webservices http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal The Last.fm journal for moberg13. Last.fm journals are a place to talk about all things music. http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2011/02/16/48219h_lifelover_-_sjukdom_translation Wed, 16 Feb 2011 22:11:37 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2011/02/16/48219h_lifelover_-_sjukdom_translation By popular demand (and my own interest), I present to you my translation of the new Lifelover album Sjukdom. Some of the songs are in English originally, but I've decided to include them here anyway, just to make it feel more complete. I hope you enjoy it in all it's ugliness.



Sickness

1.Black bile

Four times older in body and mind
A feeling of sickness that never seems to end

I could be drinking every weekend
or go date a bimbo as a waste of time
but I don’t have the energy to act anymore
I should work out and eat more
and through that maybe get my mood back up again
but I’m never lively any more, always feeble

A day feels like a week
which feels like a month
which feels like a year
I’m just lying here, each day

Never says a word to anyone
Going for a long walk in my mind

It could be any time of day
It could be any day of the week
I don’t know, I don’t care

2.Led by Misfortune

So, what am I?

A bad case of reverse schizophrenia
the imaginary friend of everyone else
a soulless terrorist with a message to spread
with the worst upbringing possible and no emotions

I want others to hit rock bottom as well

Get in touch with their inhuman instincts
and do hard drugs, be a free spirit
become enlightened, become criminally insane
You need me, and I need you to be like me

We're the scum of the earth with nothing to lose

3.Expand

I feel like a living catastrophe
ever waiting
ever waiting to expand explosively
from an "everything" to a "nothing"

The overgrown expanses that surrounds me
feel empty and naked
mould by the massive coldness
of the mountains roots

So empty and cold in their ever
expanding emptiness
Just like the hole I carry within myself
ever waiting to finally implode

4.Homicidal Tendencies

I want to smile and laugh
without having to be polite

I want to understand people
instead of feeding of their misery

I want to help those in need
not fuck it up for every fucker

but mainly I want to kill EVERYONE else
...and then myself

5.Resignation

I want to end myself
My body aches, shakes and stinks
Scarred by years of the blackest worship
My lungs vent soot and sickness

My soul is sunk and deserted
Ruined by an eternity of abuse
My inner sanctum has fallen
I am nothing, finished

6.The Smell of Emptiness

A grey and cloudy day in August
The wind is running up the hill amongst the trees
The rain is falling outside my window

The smell of emptiness
The feeling of loneliness

The mist of anxiety leads me through the dimension of loneliness
Where hope is but a weak sensation
Never more than a hopeless illusion

No place for existence to plant its seed
The ash is falling from the sky, cold and grey

7.Totus Anctus

Sure, there's optimism in my head
but it's nothing worth mentioning, it's being drowned
in a thousand tons of pessimistic reflections
and tens of thousands of icy punches to my face

Reality has awoken me from my
sleep of denial, and I'm seeing black
Black as the rat that got stuck in my trap
I seem to despise almost everything and everybody

A large overdose of personal problems
But I'm still being dragged down by the people around me
Idiots, cunts, liars, betrayers, parasites
Yes, many are those that I disdain

You've all got two faces, just you try and deny it
I'm no better myself, but I'm boiling now
from all the anger that I've gathered up throughout my life
I don't have the energy to reflect any more, I Fucking have to act

8.The whore of the whore

You’re living without a spine
you read straight from the book, page by page
the music you make is stolen from others
you’re also a scenewhore without your own words

You anger me, until my nose starts bleeding
I see red drops on the frozen ground
where I walk, lifeless bodies fall

Death is dancing behind me as I walk
but I act as if I don’t notice it
I’ve tried to kick the habit
but then I hear something in the subway
The words that makes the earth shake
And makes me take my vengeance

9.Bittersweet Cacophony

Yes, initially it felt a bit empty
but it’s not the dreams that I’ve been missing
it’s being able to wake up
and suddenly be somewhere else
but here, everyone seems to be sleeping for so fucking long
and just how the fuck am I supposed to get something done
if I’m supposed to walk around and feel about things all the time?
You mean love? (it’s a social construction)
My heart, it’s a dead stone, cold as ice
yes, cold and hard

10.Pitch black Frustration

My fingers are shaking
from all the sleepless nights
during which my soul has been sucked out
from my tired face

Which I’m hiding in a caustic lifelessness
And my shoulders are swept
in the heavy cape
I am forced to cower on the ground

In a fetal position I’m cowering
exhausted and deformed
tortured by all the stares
how am I supposed to reflect
on what I see, when I’m drowning
in the feeling of almost being completely drained of energy?

Look away! There’s nothing to see here
… until I’ve got enough! Why spare anyone?
because when I jump forward
like the jack in his box
in a psychotic suicide explosion

Summon a mass psychosis
just because I can
sleepless and sweaty
I’m keeping the dream alive
shooting my brain ghosts in the head
while I’m realizing why what I once had
eventually disappeared

11.Waking down (This is a word play on the word uppvaknande, which means awakening. Upp literally means up and vaknande means wakening. Ned means down, so nedvaknande would mean something like waking down, but I guess it’s up to you to find your own meaning.)

My suspicions were against all of you
Each night I dreamt of seeing you all falling
I have been followed by things that doesn’t exist
I have done things I cannot remember

I want to be rehabilitated but the possibilities can be discussed
because I can no longer feel trust
I’m going at full speed towards something worse
I can’t even see in which way I’m going

12.Instrumental Asylum

13.Excerpt

“You build from the outside, we are built from the inside
you build yourselves as stones
and fall apart from the outside

We are built as trees
and bridges grow between us
which are not made of dead materia and dead necessity

From us the living leaves
into you the lifeless enter”

14.Karma

You are a spineless little Cunt
with a much too big mouth
and you use it to lick asses
and talk behind others’ backs

When I’m done with my vengeance
and have sent you to the ER
no fucker will ever want you again
not even your friends or parents

You beg for forgiveness on your bare knees
but it’s too late and you get your punishment
You collapse and cry like a whore
It’s time you regret the biggest mistake of your life

You open your mouth and give my knife a blowjob
and you do it well, so you won’t get cut
Everything you own now belongs to me
That’s what happens when you mess with the wrong person]]> http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2010/07/10/3rlzob_lifelover_-_pulver_translation Sat, 10 Jul 2010 23:57:29 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2010/07/10/3rlzob_lifelover_-_pulver_translation I give you a translation of Lifelovers debut album Pulver. A few people wanted this done, so I thought I'd get it finished. I started this translation a long time ago but never really finished it. It's done now though, even though it's a bit rough. If you like it, feel free to check out some of my other translations of Kim Carlssons music. But for now, enjoy this sick piece of art!

Powder

1. Neckshot (lumbago, but in the neck)

Wrinkles, cellulites, hanging breasts and smeared mascara
false smiles mixed with word vomit
the cashier is a spare time hooker
her friendliness is suspicious
The teddybear yearns after going down
the humour of a child’s mind screams out in laughter
the monotony of life comes rushing, I search for an exit
the toy cat has spaghetti in its mouth, nobody knows what it is
what’s there to get here?
Noise erupts when the chaos breaks loose
the fire baptize little children as I blow this shit in the air

2. M/S Salmonella

The hangover from last night is still here
and so is the puke on the bathroom wall
I wander around like a zombie in the monotony
I meet new faces all the time, which annoys me
the bandage reeks of wound fluids and pus,
but I can’t stop smelling at it continuously
the wind blows cold, and I want to jump down
among the crushed pieces of ice
I’ve sent you a postcard that says: “Goodbye”

3. My Open Eye

Her spread legs
I licked them dry of their secretion
I filled the empty space with seed
seeds of life, keys to death
she only wanted more and more
she spat in my open eye
4. Love – Pitch black Melancholy
In a small boat on an endless sea
drifting away from the circle of life
I tie a massive stone to my feet
I drown myself in a sea of pitch black melancholy
Pictures of emptiness, of everything that I’ve lost
one last kiss, my back turned, now but a memory
I want to forget, to put it away - it’s impossible..

5. Everyday news

I’m sitting here, motionless and silent in old misery
the sun is going down outside my dirty window
it’s shedding light on and waking up all my repressed feelings
exposing them to the hungry jaws of melancholy
Kilometer upon kilometer, in rows,
shone upon by the gaseous light of the sun – Apartment buildings!
The city will go back to sleep, in wait for a new dawn, a new day
I wait for the inevitable

6. Pause/Break Six/Sex

7. Stockholm

Empty stares, emptied minds
The subway rolls through the dark passages of the gloomy night
everything is swept in such a melancholic aura this night
Nothing and everything in disharmony;
Is it beautiful or destestable?

8. Sunday

It’s Sunday,
in the suburbs they sit, forgotten with their accessories
Pizza cartons, beer cans, cigarette butts, fat hair and greasy fingers
yesterday’s attempt at forgetting everything failed completely
the sun is shining on the boring floors yet another time
even regret comes creeping together with the scaring face of realization

9. The hand of the Lord

He’s sees you always
requesting, ordering
forcing you out in the cold
alone, like always
alone, like you deserve
you want to make him disappear
it’s no use, it’s impossible
‘cause you already feel his presence
he’s forever a part of you
your will does not exist
his words cling to your mind
this disgusting voice
impossible to love
impossible to hate
he is your lord
your heart is bleeding
tears are flowing, thoughts streaming
everything is moving
everything is motionless
the truth becomes apparent -
there is only one way out

10. The Medicine man

11. Next Dawn

The cold is tearing at my face
I’m standing here, thinking back on these intensive days,
which will forever change mine and others’ lives
I feel no regret
this night, my longing for death is stronger than ever,
but I will not take it out on me
tonight, you’re the victim
it’s taken many days, even years
to reach the decision about what I should do
tonight it will finally happen
you will suffer my choking hate
and take part of my deepest thoughts
this night is your last, no morning will come
- the next dawn is not for you
enjoy the choking air you breathe
enjoy the coldness tearing your cheeks and your throat
before it’s replaced with cold steel
enjoy it girl, enjoy it!
this sunset will be your last

12. A Song about you

I’m holding a gun against your head
embarrassing and pathetic you’re whining after your mom
I’m not your mom?
your mom isn’t here, I took her away from you
you should’ve seen her despairing eyes
You couldn’t find your place in this world
your escape was to something that others
would see as obscure, strange, dark, dangerous.. ‘cause it’s so nice with anxiety?
You turned your old, dirty self your back
to be able to raise yourself above the masses
you turned to the extreme
you were finally accepted
now you were suddenly deep and peculiar
But when death finally knocks on your door
you realize that you’re still the same person you’ve always been]]> http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2009/01/22/2f7zsb_lifelover_-_erotik_translation Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:36:44 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2009/01/22/2f7zsb_lifelover_-_erotik_translation Lifelover - Erotik translation

Due to popular demand, and personal interest, i'm posting this translation of Lifelover's second album Erotik that i just finished. I even translated the various samples from swedish children's show's throughtout the album. if there's anything you think i've missed, just tell me! and thanks for all the positive feedback from my Konkurs translation.

1. Foreplay and Penetration

2. Sweet illness of mine

3. I Love (To Hurt) You

Yesterday was too much,
I don’t want any more
the only thing I see now is
this stone floor-cold city,
The core of these rows
an institution for dying flesh
joy-sterilized by apathy
monotonous death-bringing concrete

My heart barely beats
I get nauseated when moving

(sample from a Swedish children’s show)
“A hermit, what does this say? a hermit wants to live alone, he can’t stand the sights or sounds of other people”
“I’ve reached a conclusion, there’s no place for me in this world”
“my book isn’t for sale, and I don’t want to be disturbed by anyone. Good bye”

a soul colored like ashes
a city, a block of misery
continuous woe

I love you

4. A Man in the Worst Days of His Life

My soul is cold and raw,
like a Russian oil ship on an
ice cold December-sea
all of my ambition has sunk
lost in the cold wet wind
buried and clothed in mud
somewhere deep down there
hostility is the captain,
full of contempt he orders full speed ahead
against the shallows, against the disaster

5. The Road of Death

I travel along death’s
unlucky road,
where numerous people
have lost their lives

If only the crushed corpses
had still been here,
they would’ve adorned the asphalt with
loads of blood
and various remains,
instead of being brought away,
to get a “proper” funeral,
I would be able to enjoy this boring
travel so much more

Will I possibly
be the next one to die?

6. Welcome to Powder city

The wild life in the grey city
among these happy morons
isolation has become an addiction
to avoid those who annoy me

Smiles, sparkling eyes,
friendly greetings makes me want to puke
the attention that they so long for,
has no meaning to me

Turn the other cheek?
love my neighbor?
help my fellow humans?

Is it difficult to see the hate and
disgust towards you in my eyes?
enjoy your shitty lives, but don’t think
for even one second that you’re special

If only you knew what hides
behind my cranium,
how I look at things,
and what I’m capable of

7. Saltwater (you + me VS. Tellus)

Alcohol is my only friend,
when the memories of our time together haunts me
the only thing that echoes in my mind
is how my situation has been degrading

I constantly ask myself
at what point everything went wrong

You left me alone
with forty flesh wounds, which have scared me for life,
plus the incurable wound in my heart
which is still wide open
if you ever return,
I’ll happily murder you in vengeance

8. Possessed

Hands tied behind my back and lips sewn together
at a swamp that nobody chose to see
surrounded by pictures from my past,
broken glass and emptiness,
but there’s only one thing in my mind
I reach out my hand
coldness and fear embrace me
to eventually permeate everything at this mirror

The running veins of thought
is this what we’re living for?
this constant longing for your voice
why aren’t you answering?

Smiling, I throw myself into infinity
to be embraced by my destiny
this water of possession becomes my tomb

9. Autumn Depressions

Outside the wind is blowing away the yellow leaves,
while I lay on my filthy mattress
in an abandoned and ramshackle house,
where the windows are broken, and I’m so cold
during the freezing nights, and I don’t have any cover

To quench my thirst, I turn
to the light brown puddles in the asphalt.
and my stomach has been empty for many days

(sample from a Swedish children’s show)
"do you know what a 'thing-searcher' is? it's someone who search for things" (repeated numerous times through the song)
"what have you done?"

I am the frozen wraith in torn and frosty clothes,
I wander unnoticed like a shadow
through the ice-blue atmosphere
in the city without lights

Give me a shot of heroin in my arm,
or put a bullet in my head,
just give me a fast escape away from here

(sample from a Swedish children’s show)
“and that’s how the hermit Bertil left our world, never to return.”

10. The bottom floor of our mood

Should I congratulate you when something
unusually good has happened to you, instead
of telling you how much you disturb me,
and how little you’re worth to me?
I couldn’t care less about your prosperity,
and your daily, positive life, except that
I wish you the complete opposite

11. Museum of Past Affections

12. Blank Lottery Ticket

I see the world through sunglasses
you stand at Mr. death’s threshold of pain

You’re a perfect beginning of a shitty day
everything you’ve forgotten, and everything you’re repressed,
it’s all coming back now,
like thousands and thousands of knife stabs
an ice-wind of AIDS-infected razor blades
I call you a “whore” for a reason

It was like a frozen night in S:t Petersburgh,
when the coldness of the eastern states weren’t on your side
thin, lank hair, threads of soul-distress
the gases secreted from your anorectic,
lung-sick body, were choking
dressed in rags, suffering from sexually transmitted diseases

You’re being dragged down into pitch black ruin
tears won’t help you escape from here,
instead you got the “blank lottery ticket” of the day
you’ve always been dead to my me,
you’ll now be dead to others as well
die for the world, which is next in line

Slowly your short life is fading away
I ejaculate on your bone white corpse]]> http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2008/12/30/2d4c49_top_5_metal_albums_of_2008 Tue, 30 Dec 2008 13:09:46 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2008/12/30/2d4c49_top_5_metal_albums_of_2008 Top 5 metal albums of 2008

Here are my top 5 favorite albums of 2008. I’ve left out loads and loads of amazing albums, I know. And I have probably forgotten a heap of them as well. So this isn’t really my top 5, it’s more like a pointer at some of the greatest albums this year.


1. A Forest of Stars – The Corpse of Rebirth

This album must be one of the stranger black metal releases of the year, and what an album! Classing themselves as Victorian Occult Psychedelic Black Metal, they are bound to create masterpieces or complete disasters. And whatever they create will be either loved or hated by the black metal scene, just because of their originality. And I’m happy to say that I’m one of the people who absolutely love their debut The Corpse of Rebirth. From one awesome song to the next, A Forest of Stars combine almost post-metalish soundscapes with their own brew of strange screamed vocals and original song structures to create quite an unforgettable listening experience.


2. Lifelover– Konkurs

I never really thought that Lifelovercould follow up their two previous bombs, a band is bound to fail sometime when they only release superb albums, but the time hasn’t come yet, and Lifelover has managed to put out another mind blowing album of depressive rock/metal. The sound has become a little more mature and somber, but it still retains the usual blend of psychotic and black humor-filled atmosphere. The lyrics are still crazy and depressing; but we can, just as with their latest album, find some instances of light and hope in the songs, which is really refreshing. All in all, Lifelover’s latest offering will disappoint no fan of the band, and probably buy them a bunch of new ones. I can’t wait to see what their next album will be like, and this time I’m almost certain they can’t create another masterpiece like Konkurs or their previous albums.


3. Njiqahdda - Nji. Njiijn. Njiiijn

For a fan of Genevievian metal, this album gives me shivers. Its droning quality is perfect, and the somber vocals and the strangely clear cymbal rhythms make their sound original, and certainly well produced. It’s good to see that a real band can help the fans of Velvet Cacoon in these dark times, and Njiqahdda surely delivers. With a mixture of long, droning songs, and the Genevievian soundscapes, Njiqahdda goes close to the top as one of the best bands in this small scene. It’s sure to leave no Genevievian fans disappointed.


4. Ruins - Cauldron

With Cauldron, the australia-based Ruins created an almost perfect follow up to their debut. They retain the heavy and haunting atmosphere created by the combined force of the guitars and the different vocals, and the drumming is flawless and at the same time very playful. The dark atmosphere is a lot more present than on their debut, and it creates a very special feeling within the listener. To me, this is one of the most precious gems of 2008.


5. Wolves in the Throne Room – Two Hunters (Vinyl version)

Ok, this really is a 2007 album, but it’s just such an amazing effort, and the new vinyl version of Two Hunters was released in 2008, and since it contains some new material, I felt it would be ok to include it here. First we have the extended version of cleansing, which is just a fabulous extension of an already tear-jerking song. The new song "To Reveal" may not be on par with the rest of the album, but it’s not bad, and it’s enough to bring the album back into my playlist, simply great.]]> http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2008/11/19/2aefuh_hypothermia_-_rakbladsvalsen_translation Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:50:42 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2008/11/19/2aefuh_hypothermia_-_rakbladsvalsen_translation the user Abschaum requested a translation of Hypothermia's albums Köld and Rakbladsvalsen, and here they are. i did put a bit more effort into these than i did with the lifelover - kunkurs translation.

The Razor Blade Waltz


1. Part I

My fingers smell of blood, a sweet, dull, rotting, bitter smell
a stench of rotting flesh and skin
the smell covers my clothes, my body
scars bursting open to rot even more
it both disgusts and fascinates me tremendously
it’s beautiful, but repulsive
the line between love and loathing has never been more vague
my arm is glowing hot, the blood in my veins burns and tears me
it’s boiling inside of me, it’s burning within me
would one more cut make the pain go away, or would it only make it more clear?


2. Part II

The stench becomes more obvious the more I stay with it
it’s impossible to ignore the dull smell of the coagulated blood
beneath the clotted blood, it’s still moving
it’s crawling beneath the skin, in the skin, on the skin…
it feels very unclear if the wounds are healing or rotting, and the stench isn’t helping, actually quite the contrary


3. Part III

The warmth endures, and it’s burning more than before
I scald myself in my own blood
I open up the wounds once again
to set free the hellish flame that is burning within my veins
my veins burst open and my arm, covered with clots of coagulated blood, is alive once again
I can’t count the number of open wounds, the blood fill my scars and give them life again
I become dizzy from all the blood running down my body, and out of it, it covers my floor
my arm is going numb, there’s a tickling sensation in my fingertips, cold shivers are pulsing through my body
I can feel how I’m slowly losing consciousness more and more for each drop of blood that leaves my wounds
my field of vision is getting blurred, I can’t hear what I’m saying any more, can’t feel anything, hear anything, see anything
I’m slowly bleeding to death, being brought closer to unconsciousness with every waking minute]]> http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2008/11/19/2aefpm_hypothermia_-_k%C3%B6ld_translation Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:49:05 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2008/11/19/2aefpm_hypothermia_-_k%C3%B6ld_translation the user Abschaum requested a translation of Hypothermia's albums Köld and Rakbladsvalsen, and here they are. i did put a bit more effort into these than i did with the lifelover - kunkurs translation.

Cold


1. Weak Physical Lust

The weak, physical, lusts of the flesh
what could possibly be weaker than this?
Perhaps the mind, but at least we can shape our minds..
manipulate! deprave.. pervert
the physical materia can only be destroyed and twisted
Like what I see as a reflection in the mirror, weak,
gross, disgusting, shameful, repulsive and detestable
heaps of flesh, ruined by carving, annihilated physical lust.
Possibly what you could call a body
I’m probably just as disgusted by myself as I am by you
We’re all empty entities, emptied of feelings, of happiness… happiness?
I have to say it’s an all too common word, what is happiness?
one to love you.. embrace you when night falls,
stroke their fingers through your hair, warm your lips with theirs,
love you.. make love with you. Is that your happiness?
This devout.. mental and physical weakness.
I would never associate something as ludicrous as that to such
a strong word as happiness. A never ending mystery, does it even exist?
Do I even feel? But what I do know..
empty, miserable, cold, frozen, always thirsting..
for your hate – your love.
The hate warms, it fills up the emptiness and erases the cold within.
only for some single seconds though, the mind remains cold as the winter night.
Delightful and calming cold, embrace me this lonely evening,
embrace me all these sleepless nights.. I welcome you with open arms.
I give you my weak and gaunt body,
nothing compared to your greatness.
My self hate is worship compared to the emptiness.
there’s only a crude shell left of me, left empty,
drained, hollow.. callous and destroyed by the cold


2. Blackened Passages

Abandoned buildings, dejected minds.
In sterile autumn coldness with repressed memories
Extensive, embracing regret, grants bleak inspiration
This night I’ve been wandering through blackened passages and sterile coldness
My mind is damaged beyond repair
I’m waking up, mentally raped and rejected.
Claws are carving in my bleeding flesh
and reminds me of the beauty within that of which I hate
The alcohol still has me in its grasp
and I put its desire into effect,
with a firm grip around my razor blade I
realize its will, and make it my own]]> http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2008/10/15/281qvk_lifelover_-_konkurs_translation Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:00:50 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2008/10/15/281qvk_lifelover_-_konkurs_translation so, for all of you non-swedish speakers out there, i made a quick english translation of the new Lifelover album. i made this really fast, so there are bound to be a lot of language anomalies and mistakes, but at least it's something. for all of you who can't wait for the official translations.


02. Mental Central Dialogue
I can’t find any answers
- are there any answers?
I can’t find any answers
- are there any answers?
I can’t find any answers
- there are no answers!

03. Fire
I am the ash in your filled up ashtray
I am the forgotten minced meat – far back in your refrigerator
I am the fat that’s stuck on your pizza plate
I am the hair that’s stuck in your sink

You, me and my arsenal of weapons
it seems you’ve accepted your fate
the stench of your urine in my face
you coward piece of shit, if you play with matches –
there can be a fire!

04. Time of Cancer
The quiet melody of tranquility
to slowly reawaken
from a chemical slumber
new betrayals, misshapen once again

Trying to reflect
about the lost hours
but they lack meaning
is reality here
or is it in my raped mind?

Follow my dance into the realm of fog -
the domain where everything has lost its meaning

05. Convulsion
Cold and unpleasant
restless nights
meaningless and
prematurely sentenced to death

A whining, cutting silence
forty uninteresting thoughts
a chronic inner discomfort
tethered indefinitely

07. Narcotic Devotion
A torn declaration of love for;
something that warms you when you betray
something that gives everything you cannot give
something that you’ll never understand

It’s no idea any longer
don’t disturb me any more

Words don’t affect
my unhealthy, ruined inner self
don’t try to say anything to me
the monotony made me realize,
that reality is no place for me

08. Always - Never
I’m sitting here, shaking
happiness and despair combined
like watered out lemonade
the stranglehold that life has around my neck
has momentarily loosened, and I can finally breathe
for the first time in what feels
like an eternity I feel happy
beleaguered and relieved at the same time

I’m shaking from the euphoria that’s tearing and scratching me,
I want to get away from here, to some place
where light and shadows live in harmony
and dance the waltz of life with me until I die

Come and dance with me, let’s sing together
jump around in the forest clearings, laughing
and for a moment just exist
for nothing, just nothing
the complete omission
of everything, is simply everything, at this moment, at that moment
Always, never

09. Closed due to vacation
We’re going on vacation, to live our lives,
leave all the usual
and grey things behind us
away from the city, its exhaust fumes
and the hordes of people
to finally end up
at some cheap place
where, ironically, the same kind of
society can be found

But at least, here we can
forget all our duties
and take part in the social diversity
and enjoy our existences,
for it is in the end, this
that’s the meaning of life

Who need to be happy about their selves
when we can laugh at others?
who needs a purpose
when it’s all dried up and lacks meaning?
who needs to say “I feel good”
when the surface is what counts?

Yeah, we’re having such a good time in the backseat of the car

We’re all going to laugh and dance
into the lukewarm summer night
the last chance could be now
who can trust tomorrow
when we have the present?

Before I left, I planted bombs
where you feel most secure
I won’t return

11. Bitter reflection
I’m watching as you’re all drying up
in a soulless imaginationlessness
a practiced way to slowly die
mediocre repetition

But, my journey away from here isn’t happy
my negation will be your medal
I leave a cloud of
disappointment, doubt, and wonder behind me
while you try to find your meaning,
in a world where no new ground can be broken

12. My wing (hospital wing)
An illusion to which your madness has brought you
let yourself be blessed by the distance to the world around you
dance through the bitter gateway
escape into the realm of happiness

Tethered by my will
unable to move
your disgusting smile is twisting
nails against your skin, razorblades against your lips
I didn’t keep my promise, but welcome to my haven

13. The nail in the coffin
Drown yourself in your sentimental clichés
put me on a plane and crash it into the northern ice sea
I don’t have the will to hear it anymore, to do anymore, to exist anymore
put me in a rickety boat without any oars, and let the waves
and the coldness tear me, ruin me, sink me

Place me naked on a back street in December
I look for fights just to get injured
I provoke, just to get killed, dismembered, annihilated
nothing happens, I get nowhere, all is lost
haha, everything is shit, and you think it’s so cool

The man I once was is gone
I burn all my memories, and flush the ashes down the toilet
oh, I’m sorry, did I sound sentimental?
your braindead opinion means nothing

There is nothing cool to find in this state of mind. I am a paranoid, deranged and pathetic human being
but on the other hand, you’re just as pathetic
but please, forget about me, I’m history

14. A minute of silence ]]> http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2007/10/25/at8ah_bal-sagoth_tribute_weekend Thu, 25 Oct 2007 12:12:29 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2007/10/25/at8ah_bal-sagoth_tribute_weekend

Ah, Bal-Sagoth, i must pay a tribute to this amazing band, and to do this i devote the rest of the weekend as a tribute to this most stunning british band, not only will I give each album at least one spin each, I will also pay special attention to their, imo, greatest songs, such as:

Spellcraft And Moonfire

A Black Moon Broods Over Lemuria

Starfire Burning Upon the Ice-Veiled Throne of Ultima Thule

As the Vortex Illumines the Crystalline Walls of Kor-Avul-Thaa

In The Raven-Haunted Forests Of Darkenhold

A Tale From the Deep Woods

Return to the Praesidium of Ys

Blood Slakes the Sand at the Circus Maximus

Callisto rising

The thirteen cryptical prophecies of mu

Of Carnage and a Gathering of the Wolves

The Splendour Of A Thousands Swords Gleaming Beneath The Blazon Of The Hyperborean Empire (Part III)

The Dreamer in Catacombs of Ur

Invocations Beyond the Outer-World Night

The Obsidian Crown Unbound

Arcana Antediluvia

Beneath the Crimson Vaults of Cydonia

All hail the kings of extreme avant-garde baroque metal, all hail Bal-Sagoth!

“I saw oblivion, and damnation. I saw truth, and enlightenment. I saw the closure of the Great Circle Without End. I saw the Sixth Great Cataclysm. I saw the alpha and the omega, I saw the beginning... and I saw the end. The end of all there is!”]]> http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2007/09/24/at85y_on_the_eve_of_the_grimly_inventive Mon, 24 Sep 2007 20:16:42 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2007/09/24/at85y_on_the_eve_of_the_grimly_inventive I just have to make a short entry about a very special band, Ebonylake.

Ebonylake play some kind of horror/black/gothic/avant-garde metal and even though they only released one album, On the Eve of the Grimly Inventive (apart from their demo) before they split up, the released cd is a true gem in the avant-garde/black metal scene.

Few people seem to know about this band, and it's a true shame. From what I've heard, most of the ones who actually tried this band out thinks their music is chaotic and/or just plain bad. I beg to differ. The atmosphere on their cd is by far one of the tightest i've heard, and the lyrics and the overall feel of the music is simply stunning. A dark feeling of malevolence hangs thick around it and it doesn't let go for even a moment during its play time.

Rumor has it that the band members lived in a haunted mansion somewhere in England during some time only to get into the right mood to create the music, and it can definitely be felt in the music. if Ebonylake is unknown to you, i would urge you to give them a try, especially if you're open minded to metal and like some different black metal/avant-garde music.]]> http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2007/09/14/at82e_lifelover_-_pulver_%28my_experience%29 Fri, 14 Sep 2007 08:15:09 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/moberg13/journal/2007/09/14/at82e_lifelover_-_pulver_%28my_experience%29

When I first heard about Lifelover I can't say that I didn't doubt its greatness, black metal combined with rock or even pop music? It’s bound to be either a complete failure or a stroke of genius. My general idea of this kind of music is to try to experience it for myself before making any bold statements.
The first time I gave Lifelover’s debut album, Pulver, a spin, I can’t deny the fact that I was sort of disappointed. . It sounded so unusual and so unlike anything that I had ever heard that I didn’t really know what to make of it. The vocals sounded like some kind of joke. A mixture of pained screams, wailing and howling that sounded strangely out of place at all times. Not to mention that it had such bad production that the higher tones of the vocals made the sound crackle, as if they were recorded with the cheapest possible microphone (perhaps they were).
The music itself did sound pretty much like rock music, with some black metalish guitars thrown in for good measure. At times the music broke down into something similar to pop music, just combined with the black metal guitars constantly buzzing in the background. What was even more strange, especially to me, since I’m from Sweden, was that at occasions Lifelover had decided to put some samples from old children’s shows from the 80s.

After having listened through the album once, I sort of felt like there was a hole inside of me, a big black hole just craving to be filled. I did what I felt I had to do and put Pulver on again. And I started realizing that there was some eerie kind of catchiness over the whole record. Perhaps it was just the nice rock sounding guitar riffs that got to me first, but I gradually started seeing what was so amazing about this band. The tight atmosphere was just wicked, it started to suck me into the music and incorporate me within the soundscapes themselves. The vocals didn’t sound all that strange anymore and the crazy samples and rock/popish sounds all seemed to be floating into each other to create an almost perfect kind of atmosphere. Heck, even the crackling from the high tones disappeared under my new found love for this album.

Well, if you thought that was all there was to it, it’s not. I don’t think I mentioned that the vocals and the theme of the album are quite depressing, and after hours of listening to them I started to feel very down, perhaps the pressure that the work I had to do at my university combined with the hopelessness and everyday misery of the lyrics on Pulver was effecting me more than I could have first imagined.
I finally understood that the music Lifelover plays is far from a joke, there’re genuine feelings in there and they’re not to be toyed with. I decided that I should perhaps not listen so much to it, especially not during winter or when I already had problems as it was.
I didn’t really listen to Lifelover again until spring or early summer, and when I put the album on again I felt like I was meeting an old friend again. And without the pressure from the university I felt a lot more confident that I wouldn’t be effected by the music again.

So, I’m really at my wits end here. I know for a fact that Lifelover effects me unlike any other band has ever done, but I also know that I can’t stop thinking about the music, and whenever I play their music I feel like it’s the only music worth listening to. If it’s the unorthodox mixture of pop and rock music with black metal vocals and riffing I can’t say, but I’m pretty sure it plays a big part in the mystery that is Lifelover.
Naturally, I can’t recommend this album enough, but I’m confident that many, many people won’t like it. It takes a pretty extraordinary person to understand and appreciate this kind of music.]]>