en http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/uk/ Thu, 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 Thu, 1 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 60 http://www.audioscrobbler.net/data/webservices http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal The Last.fm journal for tadmaster. Last.fm journals are a place to talk about all things music. http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2011/11/07/50e5pi_lb4lb%25239%253A_yours%252C_mine%252C_and_the_truth Mon, 7 Nov 2011 03:28:27 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2011/11/07/50e5pi_lb4lb%25239%253A_yours%252C_mine%252C_and_the_truth There's three sides to every story:
Yours
Mine
the Truth.
- Cupid's Dead
Sometimes we're just too clever for our own good.

Extreme is a band that has suffered from straddling a line between down-to-earth and over-the-top. They clearly had the chops and the musicianship needed to rule the earth, but they wanted something else. And what they wanted was something that you can't come right out and ask for: your fans have to figure it out on their own.

I'm a hapless romantic
St-t-tuttering p-poet
Just call me a Tragic Comic
'Cause I'm in love with you
- Tragic Comic
I'm one of the many fans and critics who consider their best effort to have been the album entitled (somewhat ambiguously) III Sides To Every Story. It was their third, following up their breakout hits More Than Words and Hole Hearted. If the world was a fair place, then III Sides would have been the homerun the band needed to hit. It showcases one of the world's best guitarists without being a "guitar" album, and it blends thoughtfulness, spirituality, and humor in a wickedly funky metal confection.

The band tried to pull off something really difficult with their concept. After all these years, even a fan like me isn't entirely sure what the message was, or what it all really means. I know that there are parts that I really get, and others I don't. I'm never entirely sure I'm comfortable with what it says.

Mr. Goody Two
Do you really thing the world
Can be Black, White, and Jew?

...Mr. Music Man
Don't turn your back on me?
Cause I'm the one with the gun
- Peacemaker Die
At first glance, this bold and disturbing stance seems obvious. Clearly, since this is a concept album about politics and belief, and since the first "side" of the three - Yours - was not meant to reflect the band's own opinions and beliefs, you can't take this bravado and swagger at face value. For these songs, they ought to be painting a picture of the Other Guy - the one we're supposed to be against.

This world ain't big enough for two
And I've got my sights on you
- Warheads
Oh, yeah - that guy is an aggressive jerk. That's YOUR side, alright. Not mine. I know people like him, so "Your" side is about him, right?

That works to a point. But then you see something of yourself in that Other guy:

"Make love/not war" sounds so absurd to me
We can't afford to take these words lightly
or else our world will truly Rest in Peace
- Rest In Peace
Wait a minute - I hold to that sentiment myself. Even though the threat of Soviet-inflicted Armaggedon is even less likely now that it was in 1992, I know that we can't afford to neglect our own defense. Maybe these guys consider me to be that Other guy? And yet, I'm also far from the Warhead described in the opening track.

This second-guessing goes on throughout the whole album; what are these songs trying to tell me about the band? Or about myself?

Picture a world without any color
You couldn't tell one face from another
I can't understand why we fight with our brother
- Color Me Blind
Just when you think you've got it figured out - which side is which - they throw in something that doesn't fit. Are they hippies? No, because why would hippies put Color Me Blind on "Your" side? Maybe they're trying to show that both "sides" have some balance? Maybe they're trying to show that there's common ground between the "sides"?

But then there are the chilling moments, where you see something horrific and alien in the Other side. I still get goosebumps from the sick feeling of being inside the mind of a violent extremist as the band plays a sample of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech over the repeated leit-motif of "Peacemaker Die." I know exactly where the gunshot is, and I still jump when I hear it. If I identified with "Your" side up to this point, I would be suddenly forced to realize something horrible about the person that "Your" side describes.

All the world's
a masquerade
made up of fools
and philosophers
Were it to rain
on our charade,
all washes away,
except for our true colors
- Stop The World
How many listeners were put off by this inherent confusion, I wonder? And how many missed the larger point because they either took the lyric at face value as something the band really believes, or pushed away from what they took to be criticism of their own beliefs? Judging by the sales figures, a lot of people didn't get it.

Which is sad, because there is a lot of goodness here. I suspect the disappointment from the way this album was received led to the frustrating compromises the band made on their next release; a so-called "grunge" album that their more loyal fans saw as a "sell out" move. I'm just glad they had the courage to take this risk, and give us this album first. It must have been a real conflict to decide to do so.

And conflict is really what this whole thing is about. While the conflict on Your side is harsher and more threatening, Mine is more open and accessible. This side is the questioning, sentimental side.

If I had one wish
It wouldn't be hard to choose
Seven Sundays in a row
'cause that's the day that I spend with you
- Seven Sundays
I think we can all recognize the hopefulness and futility that comes from trying to sort out our place in a world that seems downright crazy. We all think we're just good, average folks trying to make our way through; we all want to rely on someone stronger and smarter than us to pull us through; and we all want to escape from the glad-handing charlatans trying to take advantage of us.

But even here on what should be common ground we have a problem to sort out, because of all of this religious imagery and language. Seven Sundays could be a sweet song for your steady girl - or it could be about a relationship with God. And that duality gets more overt when you compare it to the aggressive R. Lee Ermey father that opened the album. Just what exactly are they trying to say about God?

Oh Daddy please
Take me with you, where you going
Oh Daddy please
Come find the time, come watch us growing
- Our Father
I used to only listen to the halfway point of this album - something which has changed, or I wouldn't rightly be able to call this a "pound for pound" album. I used to get mad or bored with the more religious and heavily orchestrated songs from Our Father on - but now I don't.

I would get mad because it sounded (in my younger days) as if the band were urging me toward some kind of religious answer. I would get bored (later on), just dismissing this section as an attempt to deal with Daddy issues. Now I see that, like the other sections, we have the same mix of conflicted points of view that we saw in the first half.

So I start off every day
Down on my knees I will pray
(for a change in any way)

But as the day goes by
I live through another lie
if it's any wonder why!

Am I ever gonna change?
If I say one thing then I do the other
It's the same old song that goes on forever
- Am I Ever Gonna Change?
After years of listening, pondering, wondering, supposing, and rethinking, I still don't really have any answers. But I do think these guys were onto something 20 years ago. I think there is an important lesson here and that it still applies. I don't pray, but I recognize that prayer is an externalized form of meditation. We humans keep looking for answers outside of ourselves; we keep hoping to change others - whether their minds or just their behavior - as if that alone would make everything better.

But the world keeps spinning, and I keep getting sucked into the same arguments with the same kinds of people. Anger begets anger, frustration breeds contempt, and no one ever feels like their "side" is fairly represented.

Maybe the real solution to the puzzle is to let someone else have the last word.

Am I ever gonna change?
I'm the only one to blame
When I think I'm right, I wind up wrong
It's a futile fight that's gone on too long. ]]> http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2011/05/01/4cwpas_lb4lb%25238%253A_the_unauthorized_biography_of_tadmaster Sun, 1 May 2011 00:05:26 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2011/05/01/4cwpas_lb4lb%25238%253A_the_unauthorized_biography_of_tadmaster Well, I thought about the Army,
Dad said, "Son, you're fucking high..."
-Army
More than 10 years ago, I was a U.S. servicemember stationed in England. I stood a rotation of 12-hour shifts, and had a house full of small children and a pregnant wife. Our unit was remotely deployed, so we frequently had to drive 2 hours to get to our home base - where we had our medical appointments, Air Force admin stuff, shopping for U.S. foods (that we could afford), and what not. Life consisted of long, boring stretches interspersed with ennui and tension, depending on the whims of our leaders.

But we had friends, and we tried to keep each others' spirits up. One of them gave me a pirated cassette tape of a new album he had been digging. He knew I liked Ben Folds Five, and I was happy to give this new album a listen, even with the long, odd title: The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner.

I should warn you,
I go to sleep.
-Narcolepsy
That first line in that first song spoke volumes. God, I knew exactly what this guy was singing about - feeling disengaged from everyone and dropping out, while at the same time feeling turmoil and passion within that you couldn't get out - because it made you shut down.

I remember trips down to base where I put this increasingly battered cassette into the player, and sang at the top of my lungs, tears spurting out of my eyes, fist pounding the left hand piano part on the dashboard. "I know it seems that I don't care/But something in me does, I swear!" That catharsis kept me awake - and probably alive, since Narcoleptic adventures on the roads of England are not conducive to survival.

No, I don't believe in God,
So I can't be saved.
-Mess
Each track revealed a different piece of my own back story. I was still new to being a father and husband, and being a selfish college prick was still fresh in my mind. The wreckage of relationships, the bemusement of dealing with drama that others felt and I didn't, or the simple honest truths about myself that I was learning to come to terms with - like my skeptical non-theism - had now found a soundtrack.

Everyone knows that music can do this; it's not unusual to find songs that capture some vital thing about you and help you remember it or relive it. But it's rare that you find a whole album that does it. This is music that helps you understand and embrace the things about yourself that you were avoiding. The things that you would be embarrassed to admit were causing you pain, because that sounds like something one of those self-absorbed hipsters would say.

And no one wants to be seen as a self-absorbed hipster, right?

If you're afraid they might discover
Your redneck past
There are a hundred ways to cover your redneck past
They'll never send you home
-Your Redneck Past
Everyone has something they think they need to hide. Isn't it wonderful to find that the best way to keep it all hidden is to put it out there where everyone can see it?

These songs were never about me, of course. They aren't necessarily about Ben Folds, either, but they are revealing. The appeal for me has always been the way he is so open, honest and deep in his writing. But at the same time, these songs were funny and self-deprecating. You don't write about what a fool you think you are unless you've accepted that about yourself, and learned to enjoy it.

And that's where this album took me. Through the agony and the irony, it gave me something to relate to, and then held up a mirror so I could laugh at the Mess I was in, and appreciate the good things I had.

And how we just made fun
Of those who had the guts to try and fail
-Regrets
At the end of the day, I realized I was trying. I wasn't doing a great job of avoiding failure, but I was trying. You can always do better - that's the point. You will always have failures, big and small.

And for me, having a biography in song helps get through all of that. That's why I've bought this album several times - making up for that pirated copy that sits in a box in my basement, now.

Sweet dreams, Reinhold Messner, whoever you are!

Just the three of us took flight that night
Uncle Richard, me and James Earl Jones

And the pilot he gave me a blanket
And the tall dark man sang to me in deep
Rich tones...

Goodnight, goodnight sweet baby
The world has more for you
Than it seems
Goodnight, goodnight
Let the moonlight take the lid off your dreams
-Lullaby]]> http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2010/07/01/3qv0it_fully-clothed_gentlemen Thu, 1 Jul 2010 02:21:04 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2010/07/01/3qv0it_fully-clothed_gentlemen I have maintained for 17 years (give or take) that Steven Page is the finest male pop vocalist around, so when I learned that he was leaving Barenaked Ladies, I felt some concern for what might happen to the band.

Despite their racy name, the five fully clothed Canadian goofs had a unique, wholesome, and geeky charm that grabbed me from my first listen to Gordon in 1992. They could be dangerous, but it was okay because it was absurd. And even though absurd wasn't cool yet, it served them well. Best of all, while the music was obviously all about them, it was also about me.

I got into the classroom but my knowledge was gone
I guess I should have studied 'stead of watchin' "Wrath of Khan"
-Grade 9
Unlike most pop acts, you could tell these guys thought their popularity was a big mistake. It had to be a joke, right? Five overweight nerds with a joke name? But they weren't a joke or a mistake; they were earnest musicians who had a mile-wide silly streak - who else could pull off a Star Trek reference on their first album?

And when they began to realize that it was real, and no joke, they weren't afraid to transition into real song-writing, sometimes leaving me breathless when I realized that there was no ready joke buried in the raw emotion of certain songs. And like my own transition from high school to adulthood, I found it easy to follow them wherever they went - even though there were some dark moments hiding under the bed.
And you said...
What'd you think that I was gonna do,
Try to make you love me as much as I love you?
How could you be so low?
You arrogant man,
What do you think that I am?
My heart will be fine
Just stop wasting my time
-Break Your Heart
This dark-edged but upbeat chemistry carried them through the brilliant Stunt and Maroon, and left them sounding baffled, happy, and a little bit tired on their back-to-back independent releases,Barenaked Ladies Are Me and Barenaked Ladies Are Men (the "BLAM" albums). I didn't know anything then, but I suspected they were feeling the strain of prolonged existence - a theme that Steve's songs had hinted at since the beginning.
A party at a friend's
Toronto's coolest scene
I thought I'd bring a tape
To show them where I'd been
And listen for a while
The lyrics made them smile
They said that it was fine
Although it's not the style
I said it wasn't me
-Running Out Of Ink
What made this such a great band went beyond the song-writing - which could be a varied mixture of tender, witty, acerbic, sentimental, or naughty. There was a mixed-up collaborative feel to the songs that extended into their famous live improv work, and found its way back into the studio somehow. Whatever else you could say about them, The Ladies were there for a good time, and that's what they were good at providing. Everyone seemed to be having fun.
"A is for attitude I can't help but wield
A is for arrogance; emotional shield
A is for acting, A is for abhorrently
A is for asshole, which is what I am, how rude of me.
I owe you an apology I'm sorry"
- A
If you know them, you don't need me to tell you this, but that chemistry came from combining 5 distinctly different and intensely creative personalities into one unit. We're not talking about Lennon/McCartney level collaboration, but you could tell each member did their own thing, brought it into the studio, and took turns going "Yeah, I like that! Want me to do THIS?"
I thought that Alcohol was just for those with
nothing else to do
I thought that drinking just to get drunk
was a waste of precious booze
But now I know that there's a time
and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between
self-control and self-abuse
-Alcohol
It's probably no secret why Steve left the band. After a drug bust in 2008, his lifestyle appeared to be veering into the self-indulgent and self-destructive. I don't know the details - whether he wanted to leave, or the rest of the band wanted him to leave; whether he needed to get away to get better, or what - but it's not hard to see the effects that years of continued adulation, success, and hard work can have on a group like this. They went farther than they ever expected they would, did more good work than any of us had a right to expect them to do, and delivered on the promise to keep getting along and to keep the ride running.

It's no wonder if they got tired.
She got a new apartment it's out on the escarpment
And in her glove compartment are my songs
She hasn't even heard them since she found out what the words meant
She decided she preferred them all wrong
Kind of like the last time with a bunch of really fast times
If we're living in the past time soon gone
-Testing 1,2,3
And that is why I worried. I was afraid that I would miss the voice of Steve in the mix. Maybe it was hard for him to play the role, but the dark edge of his wit, and the honesty of his voice combined with the levity of the group to create great pop music. I knew that without the more upbeat influence of his friends, his solo work would probably not satisfy me, but I held out hope that they would be able to make something enjoyable even without him.
But I'm warning you, don't ever do
those crazy, messed up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you I'll be the first to crucify you
Now it's time to prove that you've come back here
To Rebuild
-Call And Answer
If you've come this far up memory lane with me, you may have noticed - I haven't mentioned anything about the new album. I intended to. I was bracing myself for having to write down in words what I thought and felt listening to it; but I decided that what I had to say would be unfair. There were some comments in my head, using words like "lassitude" and "lackluster"... but to aim them at people who have been so good to me over the years just seemed mean and pointless.

You might go ahead and check out All In Good Time; you might even find something there to enjoy. You might also like Steve's The Vanity Project. But all I heard was the voices that weren't there.

I hope they'll come back someday and rebuild.]]> http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2009/12/24/39vxmv_a_new_christmas_album Thu, 24 Dec 2009 23:16:18 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2009/12/24/39vxmv_a_new_christmas_album I know after my tirade last year about Christmas music, this might seem a little hypocritical, but look at it this way: why curse the darkness when you can fire up a black light and go scorpion hunting? I mean, Bob Dylan did a Christmas album this year, so why can't we?

And if THAT makes sense to you, then you should check out our new Christmas album: Christmas TrAXE: A Bag Full of Carols. Me and a few friends re-arranged some of our favorites to show how we feel about this time of year. We hope you enjoy them.

Happy-Merry Chrismuhannukwanzaakah!]]> http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2009/08/02/2wthd6_surprises Sun, 2 Aug 2009 16:16:56 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2009/08/02/2wthd6_surprises I'm not very good with recommendations. People try to tell me about their favorite bands all the time, with mixed success. Most of the time, it's just the "popular factor" working against them. If a band is popular right then, I'm usually put off until the buzz dies down. Then there are the classic rock fans; growing up, people tried to turn me on to Zeppelin, Yes, Genesis, Van Halen etc. - all for very valid reasons, but until I discovered these bands on my own, they never really caught my imagination.

In the same vein, I've had people recommending Frank Zappa's music to me for more than 20 years. I tried, but it just never grabbed me. The Broken Hearts Are for Assholes and Why Does It Hurt When I Pee novelty would make me laugh, but the music was just too strange and difficult for me to get into.

But a few years ago, several friends conspired to get me into Dream Theater. DT is not what you would normally think of as "my thing". They are a highly technical progressive metal band - a hybrid of Rush, Pink Floyd, and Metallica, just to name check a few. To make a long story short, I found myself very taken with their work (see my Library), and last night, for the first time, I got to go see them on the Progressive Nation tour.

We got there early, and enjoyed the opening acts, Scale The Summitand Bigelf (a trippy, psychedelic organ rock act from Finland Los Angeles), and then sat through most of the Queensryche set before needing a break. (Queensryche is another band I've never been able to get into, and now I don't think I ever will... maybe the fat guy in BDUs skipping around the stage screaming "mother f*cker" had something to do with it, but mostly it was Jeff Tate's ego).

Anyway, we went back to see Zappa plays Zappa, not really knowing what to expect... and we were utterly blown away. I've been making fun of Dweezil Zappa's name since the mid-80s, and I hearby renounce every snicker. The band started with an incredible bass solo, which is something that is always sure to impress me. Then the woodwind/singer/keyboard playing multi-instrumentalist (I really need to find out these peoples' names!) knocked off my other sock with her prowess. I've always been a sucker for people who could sing along with what they were playing... try it, it's NOT easy.

Then the lead singer - who looked just like Ben Affleck - came out and began a spot-on impression of Frank himself. By the time the guitarists and the percussionists got their crack at me, my brain was already over-juiced. All told, this band was the only one who I felt might be able to actually play the stuff that Dream Theater was about to unleash on us.

Needless to say, Dream Theater's set was awesome. I'll leave the details to other, more rabid fans. But I was *expecting* to like them. I was not expecting to have the world of Frank Zappa set out at my feet by a crew of top-notch performers, though.

Thank you, Dweezil, for your tribute to your father. I hope he's smiling wherever he is.]]> http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2009/08/01/2wqvj1_lb4lb%25237%253A_wildflowers_are_petty_things Sat, 1 Aug 2009 15:58:45 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2009/08/01/2wqvj1_lb4lb%25237%253A_wildflowers_are_petty_things You probably don't think much about wildflowers. They're really just weeds, after all, and unless they're blooming, they don't have much to offer. But when they bloom...

In 1994, I already knew who Tom Petty was. The Traveling Wilburys and Full Moon Fever had cemented him in a favored place near my tape deck, and even his Greatest Hits album had impressed me. But I figured the Greatest Hits was an admission that he was done; Mr. Petty had decided to sit back on his laurels and take a well deserved basking.

Fast forward 15 years. I'm in the car with the iPod shuffling through my own greatest hits. I'm almost at the saturation point with most of the 600 or so songs on there. I've heard my recent favorites a million times, and the stuff I haven't heard before isn't making an impression as it floats by. I'm thinking, "It's time to wipe this thing and throw on something different."

Then I hear a simple strumming pattern. It's like the first drops of rain on a dusty windshield, when you're driving over to see your girlfriend at the end of a long week. It's like the first slug of beer after spending the day spreading gravel in Arizona. It's like seeing wildflowers blooming next to a field of scorched, brown grass.

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free
- Wildflowers

Petty has never been the strongest vocalist, or the deepest song-writer. He's not the "rockin-est" rocker, nor is he a very flashy guitarist. He's just that guy you know who breaks out the guitar at parties, and makes everyone feel good. He's that guy that girls don't think about dating because he's "just a good friend", but when they actually give him a chance, he turns out to be genuine and caring.

Wildflowers is built on that vibe. The title track is all about letting someone go where they want, while still hoping that means they'll want to go where you are. There's no pressure, but he lets you know what he wants out of the relationship. He wants to keep it simple, real, and easy.

Doing that, there's always the chance that she'll take you up on the offer and leave, but... why borrow trouble? Why worry that much? You only hurt yourself, after all.

I know your weakness, you've seen my dark side
The end of the rainbow is always a long ride
But don't be afraid anymore
It's only a broken heart
- Only a Broken Heart

Yeah, he knows the risks. And he's not immune to that urge to control, either. This could have been an album full of passive-aggressive manipulation. Tom certainly knows the temptation.

It's good to be king and have your own world
It helps to make friends, its good to meet girls
A sweet little queen, who can't run away
It's good to be king, whatever it pays
- It's Good to Be King

So we'll sit back, break out the guitar, and sing together. We'll hang out, and make ourselves easy to be around. Sometimes, you can't be king enough to shape those things that are larger than you, so you have to give in. Be easy. And do what you have to do.

And hey, now baby, what can I do?
What am I goin' to do but trust you?
The rest of my nights, the rest of my days
What can I do but love you?
- House in the Woods

In 1994, the music scene turned on its head. All of the over-the-top extremes of the 80's metal bands and the effete and introspective self-loathing of the bubbling "alternative" scene collided, and the resulting cloud of ash that we called grunge erupted. It was cathartic, it was redemptive, it was purgative... but it was harsh and unflinching. The music, like the lyrics, explored the dark corners we had all been ignoring, and it changed the way we wrote and heard music.

Everything was about how angry and hurt everyone was. Grunge gave depth to punk, and balls to alternative; it pissed on shallowness of metal, and gave advanced music theory lessons to folk. It was a force of its own, all about denying anyone the opportunity to get close to you, because you knew they just wanted to rip you off.

It affected everything; lyrics, song-writing, form, production, sales, advertising. The flames swept through the music business, and the ashes settled on every genre. No one could sell a record without something "grunge" related - a flannel shirt, a curled fist, an angry riff.

In the midst of all of that, one quiet album pushed something beautiful up through the ashes, and those of us who noticed felt a little lighter for the experience.

Its time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
Its time to move on, it s time to get going
- Time To Move On

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. Petty knows his limits, and he knows not to expect too much. This makes his album a masterpiece of understatement, as well as an achievement. Not many people can pull off both.

Not many people can craft songs that still bring a smile to your face and joy to your heart when you recognize that simple strumming pattern. Especially not after hearing them for 15 years.]]> http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2008/12/28/2czl0g_enough_with_the_holiday_tunes%2C_already%21 Sun, 28 Dec 2008 14:29:46 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2008/12/28/2czl0g_enough_with_the_holiday_tunes%2C_already%21 I can only take so much. You're probably the same way. For several days AFTER Christmas, you can still be assaulted with the holiday-themed music & muzak everywhere you go. Well, as far as I'm concerned, it's after Christmas, so Santa Claus can get the #%*&@! back out of town!

For those who would like some ammunition for firing back, I give you this list. There are three four basic types of songs on here:
1. Irreverent parodies
2. "Alternate" holidays
3. Neglected covers that should be played instead of the overplayed versions
4. Covers so cheesy that the listener might suffer a physical blockage

I leave it to you to decide which tunes belong in which categories. So, sit back, toss back the "hair of the nog", and spread the word to the muzak programmers: it's time to pack the holiday box up for another year. (And don't be so eager to break it out again next October.)

*Asylum Street Spankers – Intro
*Asylum Street Spankers - You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
*Jonathan Coulton - Chiron Beta Prime
*The Pogues - Fairytale of New York
*Poi Dog Pondering - Mele Kalikimaka
*Fountains of Wayne - I Want An Alien For Christmas
*James Brown - Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto
*Barenaked Ladies - Green Christmas
*Leon Redbone - Winter Wonderland
*Squirrel Nut Zippers - Sleigh Ride
*Harry Connick, Jr. - Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
*Jonathan Coulton - Curl
*Barenaked Ladies - I Have a Little Dreidel
*The Klezmatics - Hanukah Tree (Hanukkah)
*The Brian Setzer Orchestra - Jingle Bells
*The Love Buzzz'rds - Buddha's Wearing Christmas Lights
*Ringo Starr - The Little Drummer Boy
*Mannheim Steamroller - Los Peces En El Rio
*Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)
*Leon Redbone - Blue Christmas
*Harry Connick, Jr. - Frosty The Snowman
*Asylum Street Spankers - Linus and Lucy
*Vince Guaraldi - Skating
*Harry Connick, Jr. - Winter Wonderland
*Leon Redbone - White Christmas
*Vince Guaraldi Trio - Linus And Lucy
*Jimmy Eat World - Last Christmas
*The Killers - Don't Shoot Me Santa
*Asylum Street Spankers - 12.25.61
*Action Action - Father Christmas
*The Chieftains - The Wexford Carol
*The Blind Boys Of Alabama - Last Month Of The Year
*Leon Redbone - Frosty The Snowman
*MC Lars - Gary The Green Nosed Reindeer
*Folklore - Xmas Ape Goes to the Moon
*Sugarcult - Santa Claus Is Coming to Town
*blink-182 - I Won't Be Home For Christmas
*South Park - Carol of the Bells
*Bunnygrunt - Got the Blues for Xmas
*Atom And His Package - What We Do On Christmas
*Scary Kids Scaring Kids - What a Wonderful World
*South Park - O Holy Night
*Major Seven and the Minors - Flying Spaghetti Monster
*Satan - Christmas Time In Hell
*Hot Rod Circuit - Happy Christmas (War is Over)]]> http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2008/10/10/27pi4n_everyone_i_love_is_here Fri, 10 Oct 2008 12:06:25 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2008/10/10/27pi4n_everyone_i_love_is_here We all cruise along through life at various levels of awareness. Some of us are acutely aware of every nuance of every situation, and some are clueless about the signals they send out and that they receive in return. I've always leaned more toward the latter category. A couple of weeks ago, I discovered that my world was not working the way I thought it was.

When your world is suddenly not where you expected, you start looking around for it. It's a painful and scary experience, not knowing what's real and what's just a self-imposed delusion, but I'm lucky, because I have people around me who aren't afraid to tell me the truth. They anchor me, and help me fix the problems I create.

And in the midst of all of this, there's music. (As if you expected me to write about travel or architecture...)

One dangerous, yet thrilling, thing about a personal crisis is the new meaning that old familiar songs take on. Suddenly, So Much To Say has a depth I never recognized before; the sassy humor of Ben Folds becomes a defiant rallying cry in Philosophy.

Because the emotions can be so volatile and unpredictable, I actually avoid most of my music during times like these. A few years ago, a line from Cool, Cool River hit me so hard, I had to pull to the side of an English fen road and weep while tractors and little, annoyed cars swerved around me. This week, though, I found a special gift in my collection. The Finn Brothers Everyone Is Here, a 2004 CD I picked up at the library last year.
What does it mean when
you promise someone
no matter how hard
or whatever may come

It means that I won't give in,
Won't give in...
Won't give in...
'Cause everyone I love is here,
Say it once, and disappear.
-Won't Give InThey have my number; the heart of my problem and the solution wrapped together in less than a stanza. But they go further, too, and in six lines, they manage to describe the root of what I'm feeling:Homesick
For the people that I live with
Homesick
For the spirit I'm missing
Homesick
For the country that I'm living in
-HomesickThe hardest problems to see are the ones that are right in front of you. The missed opportunities to show, not tell, someone how you feel. The conclusions they draw when they compare your actions to your words. I've been so busy wallowing in my own Homesickness, I haven't seen what has been happening in my own best friend's heart.
I've never had the time before
Leaving things where they fell
I was going door to door
Always thinking I was somewhere else

You saw me
And what I could be
And now I know what love is for
It's the only thing sets you free
Must be the luckiest man alive
-Luckiest Man AliveSo now I know all of this. I know what I've done wrong, and how to fix it. I know I'm better off than it seems, and how to make it better. But life is hard, and the road ahead is treacherous. There are no guarantees, only faith in each other.

What am I going to do about it?And I will take my chances
'Cos anything can happen
Don't believe it's over
'Cos anything can happen
-Anything Can HappenThat thought cuts both ways; if anything can happen, that means good or bad. But she deserves my faith; and she's hurting, too. She feels guilty for hurting me, but she had to hurt me to get my attention. I don't imagine it's easy to watch someone grapple with a pain that you think you caused, even if you know that it's no one's fault. It's too easy to waste energy blaming yourself. Fortunately, there's some wisdom here for her, too:
All the mud in this town
All the dirt in this world
None of it sticks on you
(You shake it off)
Cause you're better than that
And you don't need it
No, you don't believe it
-Nothing Wrong With YouIn case there is any doubt about it, the Brothers will say it for me: "I walk along with you/There's nothing wrong with you."

There are a lot of things in this world that are insurmountable. Most people don't come back from the dead, and very few can fly or shoot heat beams from their eyes. But there is no reason to give up, not when there is love like ours in the world, and musicians to remind us.A chance is made
A chance is lost
I carry myself to the edge of the earth.
-Won't Give In]]> http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2008/10/06/27fu8l_my_first_ep_release Mon, 6 Oct 2008 03:22:52 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2008/10/06/27fu8l_my_first_ep_release Long ago, in another life, I was a community college music student. One of my favorite experiences was the Electronic Studio class, which put me in a lab with a half dozen of the top-of-the-line keyboards, sound manipulators, and Macintosh sequencing programs available in 1992.

Before leaving that life to enlist in my new one, I made a couple of cassette recordings. Last week, I found those cassettes, and since my sense of humor is so much more developed than my sense of self-respect, I decided to post some of those recordings online:

No One Called Larry - Old School EP

At the time, I was listening to a lot of varied stuff; from Peter Gabriel to Paul Simon and Ladysmith Black Mambazo; show tunes and Ludwig van Beethoven; The Pogues, and even Prince. If I wanted to be painfully honest, I'd have to say the biggest influence on my song writing at the time was Danny Elfman's Batman theme, which was used in the Animated Series then in production.

Sad, I know.

I'm actually most proud of the way the "Birthday Disco" turned out, and of my arrangement of DeBussy's "Beau Soir". But the rest still amuses me, even though it does make me want to sit down and watch the Dark Knight do some detective work!

At the time most of these were recorded, I was rooming with Emlyn Ellis Addison. He's the one who got me started listening to folks like Jean-Michel Jarre, and probably told me about the Studio in the first place. "Manic Atari" was something I did on Emlyn's little Casio, before we started the class, and "Manic Atari II" was the version I did on the Ensoniq in the lab; the two versions of "North West Side" are the results of a project that Emlyn and I did together as a joke. Emlyn's much larger and better selection of tunes can be found on Last.fm also.

Now, one of these days, I hope to put up a "real" No One Called Larry album... but I don't like making promises, because life has a way of interrupting. But let me know what you think, and I'll keep you posted as events warrant. I've got Brent here now, to keep me on task, so possibilities are looking up.

PL+U!]]> http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2008/08/31/254hzi_lb4lb%25236%253A_music_for_recuperation Sun, 31 Aug 2008 16:42:10 +0000 http://www.last.fm/user/tadmaster/journal/2008/08/31/254hzi_lb4lb%25236%253A_music_for_recuperation I've written before about the way my body reacts to over the counter cold remedies. People have told me, "People pay good money on the street to feel that way," but I'd rather keep my money and NOT have to deal with the "side effects". As amusing as it might be to have my bedroom furniture talk to me, or to sit and watch the ceiling fan turn rainbow colors while lofting little fairies into the air around me... I'd just as soon stay in control of my own imagination.

Cheer up, honey I hope you can
There is something wrong with me
Radio Cure

I've been told that certain albums are improved by having your mind artificially expanded. Radioheads keep telling me I'd "get" some of their more obscure stuff if I'd just take a little something to help out, but I like The Wall just fine when I'm cold sober, thank you very much. I think music should stand up on its own, in general.

I have to admit, though, that being wired on cold meds has given certain albums more impact that they would have otherwise had on my cynical brain. Sometimes I don't let them work on the dark, secret parts of my psyche that they are intended for.

So while I won't go seeking them out, my few brushes with the High Life - at perfectly legal and unmodified dosages of Dextromethorphan and Phenylephrine - have given me some appreciation for "pharmacologically enhanced listening experiences"... a "radio cure", if you will.

I wonder why we listen to poets
When nobody gives a fuck
Ashes of American Flags

Experiencing physical weaknesses, along with the usual emotional or spiritual crises, leaves one with time to think about the less obvious ailments. If art has to have a purpose, isn't that a good one?

I was down hard when Wilcocrossed my transom; life was demanding a lot of us, and on top of the long hours of work and commute, I got hit with a pretty serious sinus infection. So, out came the drugs.

I am an American aquarium drinker
I assassin down the avenue
I'm hiding out in the big city blinking
What was I thinking when I let go of you
I Am Trying to Break Your Heart

Is there a better way to start an album when you have a fever of 102 degrees Fahrenheit, and are whacked out on decongestant? I swear I could taste the aquarium water, and the fever was causing flashes of light behind my lids anyway.

Yankee Hotel Foxtrot has an interesting story behind it, anyway, which you can track down elsewhere easily enough. For me, the first impression was of a man trying to battle down the dazed delirium of his life and seize the flashes of beauty and joy that he hoped were real before they evaporated into the dream. The teetering balance of breathless harmonies and pleasant pop with the odd and disturbing sound scape creates an effective picture of someone exasperated with his situation, but determined to fix it.

I could certainly relate to that.

Every place around the world it seemed the same
Can't hear the rhythm for the drums
Everybody wants to look the other way
When something wicked this way comes
Jeremiah Blues

Sometimes, even if you feel it coming and take precautions, sickness can carry you out to sea. Waves of nausea crash over, capsize you and leave you wishing for that blinking city. That's where I was when I ran across The Soul Cages near the end of my college career.

Introspective reflections on his father, and cerebral ocean metaphors were not what the critics wanted from Sting's second solo outing. A lot of Police fans considered this a sign that Sting had "lost it", or had gone soft.

It gave me something to float on while I was drowning, though, and helped me smooth the emotional seas I was navigating. (It didn't hurt that I was recovering from some kind of allergy attack with the help of some anti-histamines, of course.)

Men go crazy in congregations
But they only get better
One by one
All This Time

Nothing is a panacea. There is no "one-stop shop", no "one size fits all". Every drug affects everyone differently. These are just two examples of good medicine, taken as needed.

Next time you're down, try these out, and call me in the morning.]]>